Pride and Prejudice and Superheroes

4. MR BENNET'S DISCOVERY OF SUPERHEROES

"Have you ever tried a hot air balloon? It's all the rage in Paris these days."

"I might be brave when it comes to wild animals, but you would never see me risking a flight in a hot air balloon. There's a distinct distance between bravery and stupidity."

"I suppose it depends on what you know. Only then can you assess the risks."

"Ah, here we are," said Bingley, climbing the steps up to the front porch.

Over the next hour, Bingley took Mr Bennet on a tour of the house.

After visiting many rooms on the ground floor and the two above it, including taking a leisurely walk on a safe area of the roof to admire an impressive view of the Netherfield Park surrounds, the two men eventually ended up outside the Library on the ground floor. "Well," said Bingley, "this is the last room to visit, and knowing you well, I have saved the best until last, methinks," said Bingley.

"But I recall the basements here have some marvellous rooms, not just living quarters for the servants. The previous owner had a huge games room down there. There was an outstanding billiards table, I recall."

"Yes, the table was the very same one you saw in the games room back down the corridor. It was quite a job to dismantle, move, and reconstruct it whilst preserving its quality. We had to bring in someone from Meryton to supervise the whole procedure."

"And the basements, now ...?"

"I have other plans. As you must have noticed, I have re-housed the servants on half of the top floor. I aim to close off the basement area from all but my personal servants and myself."

"Sounds intriguing." Mr Bennet raised his eyebrows. He added carefully, "I noticed the stairway down to the basement has already been concreted over. So no entrance to the basement through the usual means. And better still, no sign a basement exists."

"You are observant, though I suppose as someone who has visited this house many a time in the past, noticing such a thing is probably hardly surprising."

"It was a little disconcerting. To be honest, I wondered if perhaps some sort of crime was being concreted over."

"Mr Bennet, I assure you nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it is in the prevention of crime that my basements are being prepared."

"Really?"

"Affirmative. You see it is like this. I have come here because of you and your daughter Elizabeth."

"What!"

"I saw through your questioning. You thought you were stringing me along, but it was ever thus quite contrary."

"Really?"

"Yes, forgive me, Mr Bennet. I thought it might be best for you to get to know me a touch. And I thought it good for your scholarly brain to immerse itself in matters that must seem strange and curious to you."

"'Strange and curious' ... that is putting matters lightly."

"But my method is preparing you, is it not?"

"Well, I do not think I will depart this world at the shock at any announcement you make. I am too intrigued. And as these matters seem to involve me personally, not to mention my special Lizzy, I am too concerned."

Just then, a servant arrived with a tray carrying cakes and drinks.

Both Bingley and Mr Bennet took a glass of lemonade, ignoring the cakes. The servant nodded his head and quietly walked off back down the corridor.

"I knew you had seen my gateway vehicle," said Bingley after a sip of his lemonade.

This caused Mr Bennet to interrupt the lifting of his glass to his lips. "'Gateway vehicle'?"

"The stables ..."

"Oh, that strange contraption in the stables?"

"Yes."

"How did you know I had seen it?" Mr Bennet sneaked in a sip of lemonade, seeing no reason why the curiosity of impossibility should interrupt the partaking of his heavenly liquid refreshment.

"The tarpaulin was back to front. I noticed it was twisted around at the top. I surmise, it must have fallen. Perhaps when the stable door was opened on your arrival. You must therefore have seen the 'strange contraption', as you called it, on your arrival into the stables. Then when you heard me coming, both you and the stable master must have hurriedly raised it up. Thus the urgency resulting in the twist."

"You surmise correctly, though I don't know how long the tarpaulin had been on the floor, as Mr Jackson has appalling short-sightedness."

"It matters not, as I was fully intending to discuss the gateway vehicle with you, though not in the company of the stable master. He almost caught me arriving in it. I am not sure if I can trust him yet."

So Mr Bennet's conjecture that Bingley had arrived at Netherfield Park in the strange contraption had proved correct. That deserved another sip of lemonade, if anything did.

Mr Bennet let out a quiet gasp of pleasure from his sip before saying, "He is an honourable man, that Mr Jackson, on that you can depend."

"Yes, I am beginning to think you are right. I need a man on the outside of the property."

"So he is not in any danger of being dismissed?"

"On the contrary, I can see he needs to be promoted. If you vouch well for him, he is the best man for securing the outside of the property. I shall bring in a new stable master after the weekend. Mr Jackson shall supervise an outside security complement."

"But I think he likes being the stable master."

"Somehow I think he and his family will prefer a new position that offers four times the salary."

"You need, or want, him that much?" Mr Bennet's eyes widened. He was quietly flabbergasted.

"Honest men are aplenty, but it is not always easy to know which ones they are."

"And the lake I mentioned?"

"There is no lake."

"So all the time I thought I was reeling a slippery fish into my keep-net, I did not realise that fish was myself."

"Correct, Mr Bennet, as I earlier alluded to."

"And the basement?"

"I will take you there—as I said, I kept the best until last. There is a secret passage."

"In the Library, no doubt."

"Affirmative."

"How do you know you can trust me?"

"Because, as I said before, I came here for you and your daughter Elizabeth. She is like me and my senior companion, Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy."

"What do you mean?"

"She has told you many times, she seeks a superhero, has she not?"

"Oh yes. My Lizzy does not do ordinary. And handsomeness is meaningless to her—though I am sure it would not make matters worse."

"Then there you have it, Mr Bennet."

"You mean Lizzy is—"

"A superhero."

Both men took a final sip of their lemonade and then pleasurably gasped in perfect synchronicity.

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I hope you enjoyed this Chapter. I welcome any votes, comments or constructive criticisms (style, spelling, grammar and punctuation errors).

T. J. P. CAMPBELL.