Distressed // Steve Rogers

18 - Confessions

"Because it is important to you. Now get up. We can't do this one alone."

*

Talia shifted uncomfortably as her feet began to tingle with pins and needles under the weight of Bucky Barnes. She sighed as Steve squeezed her tight and nuzzled his face into her neck.

"Stop shifting Runaway," he growled into her, "Bucky would not appreciate the effect of you brushing against me like that."

"I also don't appreciate having to listen to it either." Bucky laughed as he popped popcorn into his mouth and Talia kicked at him. Turning her attention back to the screen Talia grunted as the animated centaur picked up the brunette woman and the burly hero type guy tried and failed to look intimidating.

"This is stupid." She mumbled as Steve chuckled. "I don't even think I like this film."

Bucky snorted.

"No offence Little Widow, but that's an outright lie. You've been humming along to every song."

"Wait." She sat taller, glancing between Steve and Bucky, a huge smile erupting over her face and lighting up her eyes. She kicked again, excitement stopping her from controlling herself. "I have?"

"Oh my God Talia. If you do not stop kicking me I will kick back!" Bucky pushed at her and she tensed up. Her entire body stiffening at the sound of the words on the television.

"I am a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day."

Talia stopped breathing as her mind flooded with pain and fear, sadness and anger. The smell of damp, the danger of darkness. The twisted agony of broken ribs and ripped sobs. The image of Bucky, drained and lifeless, out cold on the concrete. The feel of hands on her skin as she was pulled kicking and screaming from the room as he was beaten in front of her. Guilt flooded her mind as she held his hand and he lay in pain, aching as he tried to speak to her, his eyes streaming with unshed tears and words spilling from his mouth for her to hear. He had needed her to know then, and she knew now.

"Hey?" Bucky watched as her eyes flickered over spaces that weren't there before them and he shifted off of her feet. "Tal? You okay?"

Talia's eyes met Bucky's. They were wide and filled with understanding as she shook her head and Bucky knew. She remembered.

"We should talk Buck."

*

Steve left the two of them to talk, brushing a soft kiss against her expectant lips before leaving the room, and now Talia sat with her arms wrapped around her knees as she stared at Bucky and Bucky stared at the floor. Neither of them spoke and neither of them moved for what felt like a long time before Talia eventually caved.

"So." She bit her lip as she tried to shake the feeling that whatever she said now was going to cause pain. "Do you want to explain why you didn't tell me?"

Bucky shrugged and tried to smile. It looked like a grimace and Talia's heart squeezed.

"You're going to need to be more specific Tal. I've kind of not told you a few things."

"Oh I don't know Barnes." She unfolded herself and got to her feet, pacing a little as she grew agitated. "We could start with that time my psychotic ex tried to kill you and then move nicely on to the small matter of your feelings."

"Oh yeah," he smirked, "that."

Talia stopped moving and watched as his grin grew, laughter dancing behind his eyes.

"Makes sense." He shrugged.

Without thinking Talia grabbed a cushion from the couch and smacked it across Bucky's head, laughing a little as his hands came up too late to protect himself and he cried out.

"OuchTal!"

"Damn it Bucky!" She shouted at him and he only grinned further. "Be serious for a second. I feel awful right now! I feel like a horrible person."

Bucky got to his feet, his eyes wide as he rushed over to her, holding his arms out and wrapping around her as he registered her upset.

"What?" He brushed his hands over her hair, holding her close against him as he placed his chin on her head. "That's so stupid Talia. Why?"

"Because Bucky, I have relied on you so much recently and you've been so incredible with the advice on Steve and I didn't even know you-"

"Talia stop talking. Now." Bucky shook his head as he cut her off, squeezing her tight before he pulled away from her and held her by her shoulders, dropping down to look her in the eye. "When Matthieu took us I thought I was never going to see you again, okay? So when I did, I acted impulsively and I told you something I never should have said. I told you something I knew you didn't want to hear."

"But Buck-"

"I'm not finished Talia. Listen." Bucky sighed as he sat down, pulling her to the couch beside him. "I told you something you didn't want to hear, and then we lost you. You disappeared and everything kind of changed. It killed me thinking you were gone Talia, it really did. But Steve? You disappearing, thinking we had lost you, that destroyed him and it helped me to realise something."

"Okay?" She sat close to him, her eyes never leaving his, even when he took her hands and lifted them to his lips.

"I barely knew you when I said all that Little Widow." He shrugged. "And don't get me wrong, I don't regret it. I love you, I really do, but I'm not in love with you. Not like Steve is. So, just stop worrying about me. Okay?"

As Bucky pulled her in for a hug Talia sighed and closed her eyes. She wrapped her arms around him and shook her head.

"Are you sure Bucky?"

"Trust me." He smiled as he pressed a small kiss into her hair. "I wouldn't have pushed you to Steve if I wanted any different. We're good."

*

Steve pushed Tony further into the hallway, glancing behind him to where he had left Bucky and Talia talking and held a finger to his lips.

"She doesn't need this Tony."

"I hear what you are saying Cap, I do. But with Bruce and Nat out we need all hands on deck." He shrugged apologetically and sighed. "We need her."

"Tony, I said no." His voice was firm and controlled and he stood taller, taking a small step forwards. "I won't put her in that position. What if it triggers something? Have you thought of that? What if it triggers a memory that we don't even know about and she can't fight back? I won't do that. I can't."

Neither man had noticed the conversation that ended in the front room, or the quiet creak of the door that cracked open as she stepped out behind Steve, drawn in by the angry whispers.

"Steve?" Talia's voice shook with concern and Steve turned to her with worried eyes. "What's wrong?"

He opened his arms and she walked straight into this embrace.

"Nothing Tal. Everything okay with Buck?"

She glanced up through thick lashes and nodded.

"You know Steven, you're a terrible liar. You'd make an awful spy."

He chuffed out a laugh as he leant down to kiss her softly.

"What's going on Steve?"

Steve frowned as he looked at her. She was strong, and beautiful, and stubborn, and Steve sighed.

"There's a mission. A few Hydra operatives that have been underground for a while now have come out of hiding."

"And you don't think I should go?"

"I just don't know if you're ready." His hand cupped her face lovingly as she stared up at him and worry consumed his smile. "I just want you to be safe."

"I know Steve." She pressed up on her tiptoes and kissed him with tender adoration. "But you know I'm coming on the mission, right?"