Shadows Taller Than Our Soul (Cordelia Goode x Billie Dean Howard x Reader)

Part 1

TW: domestic abuse, violence

The yellow glow of the kitchen light fell on your crumpled form, curled in on yourself on the tiled floor where she left you. The memories of moments just before buzzed in your head but you couldn't make sense of the fragments. All you could focus on was the way your head throbbed and your eyes twitched in time with the blood that pounded through you as you gained lucidity on the kitchen floor. You felt fuzzy; your senses dulled by the trauma that racked your body as you pulled yourself to stand up, leaning heavily on the sink as you fought to fill your lungs with air in an effort to quell the panic rising in your chest.

Your teeth were stained crimson from the cut on your lip and you winced when you downed a glass of water and your stomach churned at the sight of the red liquid diluted in the drink. A hollow pit formed in the depths of your stomach causing your body to tremble weakly as you stumbled through the house in search of her. You weren't sure whether you would feel better if she were at home or away, and you found yourself questioning if a best case scenario even existed any more.

"Honey?" you called shakily, clarifying whether you were alone or not.

When you failed to receive a response, your body crumpled under the strain of movement and soft cries racked your small form as you curled in on yourself in defence, crumpled this time on the living room floor.  Your mind was a storm of thoughts of despair and anger and self-loathing. How had you let it get this far? You had sworn you would never be like one of those girlfriends, and here you were.

You couldn't even recall a single moment where it had started; all you knew is that things were great until they weren't, progressing so minutely you didn't even notice the loathing and bitterness slowly poison your relationship. You were once labelled a 'chatterbox' by Billie, the most bubbly person in the room. Now you were the only person in the room, a hollow shadow of the person you used to be.

Weak.

The overwhelming buzz of your anguish was shattered with the shrill ring of the doorbell and before you could register your movements you had made it to the door and tugged it open on autopilot, clutching to the door frame to steady yourself. Your eyes widened in shock and shame as you laid your eyes on the blonde woman in front of you and you tried to ignore the way your stomach flipped and your heart fluttered with the memories she brought back.

"Hi sweetheart!" Billie beamed at you, her pearly smile quickly twisting into a worried frown as she took the sight of you in. She pushed her way past you and closed the door in one swift motion, turning on her heels to look you over as you stumbled to lean against the wall.

"What on earth happened to you?" she wondered, eyes immediately glazing over in terror at the dark shadow that graced your swollen cheek.

You crossed your arms over your chest and faced away from her, "It's nothing Billie, I fell over" you forced out a laugh, cringing at the way your voice shook as you explained yourself.

Her eyes narrowed as she took in the sight of you, "Where's Lucy?" she questioned, wandering further into the house in search of your girlfriend.

"Uh I'm not sure," you explained, "I think she went out to see a friend."

Your gaze had dropped to the floor at the mention of your girlfriend and goosebumps rose on your skin as you shivered in disgust. Billie caught sight of your stress and quickly approached.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, walking back to you and stroking your arms that lay tensed across your chest. Her soothing presence almost immediately broke your resolve and you fought the urge to throw yourself into her chest.