Sink or Swim - Luca x Alberto

Lots of Different Emotions

She sets the handset back in its place, then buries her face in her hands. Then reaches back and smoothes out her curls. Then hugs her arms in shame.

"If only we hadn't wanted different things," she murmurs to herself.

That sad pang in her heart is back.

June 19th — the night before departure

Luca's POV

"Here, Luca, honey." Martina leans down and hands me a glass of water. Feeling like my mouth has turned to cotton, I quickly sit up and accept the glass. I thank her before drinking, of course. Manners are important!

I know what you're thinking: how can I drink water and not turn into a sea monster from the inside? A very great question, and one that I... don't exactly have the answer to. Since sea monsters are only just now presenting themselves to the world, there's not enough research to answer any questions yet. But Giulia's doctor—the kind that only helps kids—told me that there's "no noticeable changes in my organs" after drinking water. So I'm guessing water mostly affects the outside of my body. And maybe water that's a part of me doesn't do anything either, since it's settled into my body already. I started believing this after realizing that tears don't turn my skin into scales. Not that I really cry that much.

But I might cry tonight. It's really a bittersweet moment for me right now. I get to go home and see the people I love, but I also have to leave Genova and Martina. I hope she'll be okay without us. I know how lonely she gets sometimes. Even though she has Nerone, her dog, she probably gets bored without other people around.

Martina runs her hand across my quilt, smoothing it out. I watch her intently as I snuggle back into my pillow, taking another sip of water before setting it on my nightstand. "Signorina...?" I say hesitantly.

"Oh, Luca, never change. I've told you a thousand times to call me Martina." She shakes her head at me, smiling big. Every time she does that, her cheeks get really pink. I wonder what would happen if she smiled with her teeth. Not that she ever does that. I don't get why, either. She has pretty teeth. "But yes? Is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes!" I sit back up. "I mean... sort of. Well, yes, everything's fine. I was just wondering...." I hesitate again, noticing that it's kind of dark under her eyes. I learned that that means someone is really tired. "I... just wanted to ask if you'll be okay without us."

She seems surprised by this question. She scoots up more on my bed, rubbing her eyes. Yep... she's tired. "Will I be okay? I mean, sure, I'll be alright. Of course, it's hard when Giulia leaves every summer." We both look over at Giulia, who is sound asleep in her bed at the other end of the room. "And now that I've gotten close with you, it'll be twice as difficult."

"I wish I could stay here a little longer," I whisper.

"Oh, Luca, I couldn't ask you to do that." She leans over and tucks me in. "You've got your family back home, and I'm sure they're more than excited to see you again. Besides, aren't you glad you'll see Alberto again?"

I can't help but smile big. My stomach flutters a little.

She smiles with me, then shifts her weight as if ready to stand up. But I reach out and grab her wrist, giving it a small squeeze. "Martina?" I say.

"Yes, tesoro?"

"... I love you."

She beams, reaching out and caressing my cheek. "I love you too, Luca."

She stands up, and walks over to Giulia's side of the room. Leaning down, she kisses her cheek, then turns off her desk lamp. The only light in the room now is from the hallway. She walks to the door now, and places her hand on the knob. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Then she shuts the door.

Oh, jeez... I really don't like the dark. I sink down in my bed, reluctantly looking out the window at the night sky. Back at sea, we've always had some sort of light, most of it coming from Portorosso. Even when Alberto and I slept outside, we had the stars and moon to shine down on us. So you can imagine my worry when Giulia said she can't sleep without complete darkness. How does she do that? Doesn't she get scared about something reaching out and grabbing her?

I gasp, pulling the covers to my face. I spooked myself.

Luckily, I have a little something that helps me in times like this. I reach down and feel the nightstand beside me, trying to find the knob. I finally do, and open the drawer, rummaging through it until I find my silver flashlight.

I like this flashlight because it doesn't blind me with its light, but it's bright enough to where I don't feel scared anymore. But giving me comfort in the dark isn't the only reason I got it out.

I reach behind me this time, sticking my hand in my pillowcase. I pull out my journal; that same one I was using last week. That was supposed to be the last time I wrote in it, since it was meant for school and all, but....

Oh, chissene.

I grab my pen.

Thursday, June 19th

So, yeah. I don't want to stop writing in here just yet. I've got about twenty pages left in this, and I want to use them. I can't just stop writing to you... you're the only person (or... thing) that knows the truth.

And I'm really scared. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. On the one hand, I'm super excited to see my family again and have a blast in Portorosso with my friends. But... I don't know. It's been like nine months since I've seen Alberto. What if he's changed? What if he's found a new best friend?

What if he finds... you?

There's no way I'm leaving you here. I don't know what would happen if Martina found this. She'd probably tell Massimo my secret, and Massimo would tell my parents. Imagine how disappointed they'd be. I mean, I'm already a sea monster. I'm already a freak to the world. What would they do if they knew I was having these thoughts? I'd be a double-freak. Or worse. I'd be a disappointment....

One thing's for sure: you are coming with me, journal, and I'm going to have to hide you in a secret spot. One where no one—especially Alberto—can find you. Maybe one day I'll rip the pages out of here, but not today. Not anytime soon.

Tomorrow night is when I'll see him... and honestly, I'm not ready.

I'm excited... but I'm not ready.

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Stay tuned, guys~ the next chapter is a pretty special one (you'll even get to read Alberto's POV). Sending love ♥