Oneiroi ✓

10| the pages of my memories

❝Birthdays, are always the same. Many of them have passed...

I think I've definitely become a bit more of an adult ❞ 

—Time Lapse | Taeyeon

[ the pages of my memories ] 

she's reminded of that particular song whenever her birthday arrives—birthday, that word,  so profoundly simple yet could evoke many kinds of emotions to the one experiencing it. certainly, birthdays are meant to be a joyous, pleasant day — one that brings about happiness, being the special, significant occasion it is. 

there are various meanings to signify birthdays. to start of, they are usually meant to celebrate the day one was born, or perhaps to mark how far one has come in her life; even to see how much one has grown in their past year and many other more meaningful reasons

yet, for her, it wasn't really one filled full of happiness but rather mixed feelings. she used to think of birthdays rather innocently when she was a lot younger; just a more special day for her to have a good time, to eat a cake and receive presents. but of course as she grew up, the more she realised how much there was more to it and how she was actually missing its sole purpose. 

today marked her 24th birthday, after work, her best friend had gone to the nearby bakery with her to collect her birthday cake— a simple one filled with the two things she loved most—strawberries and whipped cream.

by the time she'd reached home, the sky had already darkened into a shade of cobalt blue and streaks of orange from the fading sunset. small streams of weak sunlight infiltrated the dark room where she sat, alone. the seams of the curtains ruffled slightly, providing what little wind there was. the air felt calm, but only on the edge.

gingerly, she peeled open the cake box to reveal its contents. there sat neatly in a box, was a whole cake, round, flat and iced with swirls of fresh whipped cream, as light as clouds, carefully adorned with ripe red strawberries, lined between the peaks of cream.

staring at the cake, her heart dipped with a sense of heaviness. she busied herself with arranging the candles, a total of 24 each— and one for each year. she clicked the lighter and lit the candles one by one, illuminating the whole room with warm light that flickered around merrily casting faint shadows on her face and in her inner surroundings. then, her mind drifted back to the days of some of her most precious moments...

#01; one of her most memorable moments that filled her mind was instant laughter; warm laughter and screams that rang in her ears and poured out a tremendous rushing sensation to her heart. it was in her old school, a place she dearly missed— a place which was also her second home. 

it was the usual daily fun and games that were played with many friends, playing games they'd created with themselves, playing games that was passed down from seniors. they were the times when there was a mad rush to the playground, the usual petty squabble and competition for the use of the equipment, of the times she and her friends would play and run around like nothing else mattered. for her, there was not one day where she didn't play. 

there were familiar playgrounds and lunchbox meals, teachers and best friends, the butterflies that would follow her and her friends in their journeys, the games they'd play- piano tiles, marco polo, ice and freeze, hide and seek, times they would piggy back each other, and prank the teachers, old days where everyone knew each other, innocent days before everyone was fully mature, they were all together as one; where technology wasn't so advanced, where everything was much better cherished, of the times when they didn't know what lay ahead of them