Surreptitiously In Love

One step late.

"Everything about her seems cute, don't you think?"

"Right." I nodded again.

"Right, huh.." Kanako had this smug look in her face, which made me realize what I just said. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment as I quickly think of an excuse.

"I-I mean, she looks cute when she laughs. Even Javi knows it! And when she runs, J-Javi also–"

I was interrupted by Kanako's laugh. "Gotcha, Yuzu."

"What–"

"You're obvious."

I gulped and blinked at her in confusion. "What do you mean by obvious?"

Kana smiled at me. "In medal ceremonies, whenever I watch you, you'd always look at the first placer's medal when you lose. You'd clap and all but deep inside, I know you wanted that medal."

I stayed quiet. What's the connection?

"In short, you're so transparent with your feelings. Look, you just gave in and just told me that you really like Aren. Well, indirectly."

I was startled. "I– What? I didn't–"

Kana laughed again and stood up. "Yes you did. You just did."

I got on my feet, looking down. I'm so embarrassed I couldn't look at Kanako. "How? I.. didn't even say anything?"

"Are you for real? You should've listened to yourself while you describe Aren in the most admiring way."

I began to be silent again. I really don't know what to say to Kanako. She knows me too well.

"You should tell her about this soon,"

"I-It's not that simple!" I exclaimed, "Can't I just wait for her to notice or something?" 

"The first placer never notices that stare you give to him, but the people around you do. Same goes to Aren. Waiting for her to notice isn't that simple too. Besides, you're her boss. She wouldn't assume."

Kana walked towards the door so I followed her from behind. We exited the building, feeling the cold air outside.

"B-But, hey! She has a crush on me." My face reddened. I don't really like saying things such as that. "Uhh.. J-Javi.. Javi told me last Sochi. So.."

Kana looked at me dead in the eye like I just spat a horrible thing. "She does. And you feel the same way. What'cha gonna do? Have Javi tell her?"

I looked at her and frowned. "..Why not?"

"You totally suck at this, Yuzuru Hanyu."

We stared at each other for a while and laughed. I do suck at this.

"I'm going ahead. I'll have to visit more friends. Thank you for your time, Yuzu!" Like nothing happened, Kanako hugged me and beamed. Seriously?

"What about the hot choco?" I said. I couldn't think of anything to say right now.

Kana patted me in the shoulder. "Go check her." The smile in her face never faded. "And tell her everything. You'll never notice that it's too late."

I watched her go with an unfamiliar friend who waited for her in the coffee shop across the road. She waved at me and I gulped, looking at the direction of the nearest vending machine I know.

"Fine." I took a deep breath. "Ganbatte, Yuzuru!"

I cheered for myself before starting to walk. Really though, what's taking her so long? Was she kidnapped or what? Woah, wait. Of course not. I paced faster and reached the vending machine.

She's not there.

"Kuso.." I cursed under my breath and frowned. Where could she be? I still decided to go ahead and check her around.

I turned to the left corner of the street and saw her.

Finally.

She's holding two cups. I assume those are the hot chocos she bought for Kana and I. But wait, why didn't she return to the club?

My heart started to beat faster as I slowly walk towards her. This is it, Yuzuru. Honestly, I'm feeling more nervous than when I'm competing. I have to think of the things to say. I should carefully choose my words. This is the very first time I'm going to do this kind of stuff. I opened my mouth to call her.

But something stopped me.

The sight of a young man jogging towards Aren with two.. donuts? Yeah, in his hands. He offers one to Aren as she exchanges it with the beverage in her hand.

I halted. I stared from the distance. Based from what I saw, he said "let's go" and then they started to walk further. I wanted to follow but what's the purpose of it? I couldn't even move my feet. Where is she going? She's supposed to go back.

I've gathered enough courage and stepped forward. I'm going to follow them.

So I followed them and made sure that they won't see me. I could hear their conversation. They seem to be good friends, and I hope they're only good friends.

I saw Aren get her phone from her pocket, handing the pastry to the guy. She held the phone to her ear, and my phone started to vibrate. She's calling me all of a sudden? I hastily hid behind a tree nearby while taking glances of them.

And then I answered it.

"Hello? Sir?"

"Y-Yeah?" I tried my best to speak clearly. My eyes won't leave the two.

"Uhh, sorry for not coming back! I'm with someone right now, is it okay to be back later? I promise I'll get there as soon as I can! He won't let me go til I chat with him for a while," She laughed. The guy also did. I furrowed my brows.

"I really promise this'll be quick!"

I stayed quiet for a while. I watched Aren stop walking, then other guy did the same.

"Sir? Are you still there?"

"Yes? Oh, I was just.. distracted. Javi just fell from his jump so.. yeah. Sure."

Aren sighed. "Is Kanako still there with you?"

They started to walk again. They're getting out of my sight.

"Nope, she left already. She.. told me to.." I paused. I held my phone tighter before resuming. "She told me to say bye to you in her place."

"Oh, I see.. Um, well, if I'm needed there, just tell me!"

"Yeah," I said, finally giving up and completely leaning my back onto the tree behind me. "Don't worry. Everything is.. everything is fine."

"Are you sure? I can go back if you want? I'll just tell my friend that–"

"No, it's okay. Coach is.. calling me. I'm going to train now, see you."

After I ended the call, I buried my phone into my pocket with a shaky hand.

It's been a while since I've felt this.

The pain of looking at someone getting that one thing you want so bad.

Envy.

[A/N: Hello!! I hate this chapter. Hahaha because look at the poor child. ;_; But I had to do it. So yeah. Next chapter will be a mix of Aren and Yuzu's POV! Because it's hard for me to write the idea using only Aren's... haha. Thank you for all the comments by the way!! I'll try to reach your expectations! (●´∀｀●) Fun fact: Kana-chan was supposed to be an antagonist but I couldn't bring myself to push that role into her because she's too pure, too good for this world. （・∀・）By the way, the chapter before the last reached 200 already. Thank you!!]