unstoppable force paradox (mha x opm!reader)

〚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟓〛uniforms and starting lines

"I assume you're looking for this?" You motioned at the huge door. "Almost ran right past it, broccoli."

Broccoli sputtered and choked out a few incoherent words. You thought there was a thank you in there somewhere also a few dozen 'sorry's also something about broccoli. He took a breath then managed a "Th-Thank you! Sorry!"

You tilted your head. "Are you nervous?" It was a question but it was stated more like a fact since it was incredibly obvious. You seemed to have only made him more anxious so you added. "Me too..."

He blinked owlishly at you. "Really?" He sounded oddly hopeful.

"Yup. I haven't been in an actual classroom since elementary school." At his confused look you added. "I was homeschooled."

He stuck his arm out looking ramrod stiff as he did so. "I'm Izuku Midoriya."

You took his very shaky hand with an equally awkward grin. "Y/N Saitama." You then made the poor choice of opening the door.

"Take your feet off of that desk now!"

Oh... It was Stick from the exam... Lovely.

"Huh?" A blonde boy with spiky blonde hair somehow managed to make a 'huh?' sound like a threat. He reminded you of one of those tiny dogs that barked at everything even though they were the size of a football.

"It's the first day and you're already disrespecting this academy by scuffing school property, you cretin!"

Cretin? Who the hell says cretin?

"You're kidding me, right? Your old school put a stick up your ass? Or were you born with it?" You let out a soft breathy chuckle at the barb. It seemed that you and Pomeranian were on the same page.

Stick seemed to be about to snap back but thought better of it. "Let's start over. I'm Tenya Iida from the Somei Private Academy." He motioned with his hand like he was air chopping something... Seriously?

"Somei, huh? So you must think you're better than me." How could Pomeranian open his mouth that wide? "I'm gonna have fun tearin' you a new one."

Stick recoiled at the light barb like someone had just threatened to eat everyone he cared about right then and there. "You would threaten me? Your own classmate? Are you sure you're in the right place?"

Pomeranian scoffed and then turned towards the door. You noted that Brocco- Midoriya scooted to stand behind you a tad.

"Huh? It's him." Stick (no, Iida... His name was Iida) stated. Did he know Midoriya?

Predictably since everyone had been watching the two argue, every single person in the room turned to look at the door. You could feel Broc- Midoriya's soul leave his body.

Deciding to spare the poor dude you held up a hand with a simple "Yo."

Broccoli managed a weak "Uh, hi."

Stick- er... Iida decided to calm the boy's nerves by speed walking at him like a robot having a stroke complete with more weird arm movements (this time his hands clenched into fists). What the fuck...? "Good morning! My name is Tenya Iida fro‐‐"

You stopped caring about St- Iida and his weirdness when you heard a "Saitama! Aye!" You glanced to see Calamari waving frantically at you from his seat.

"Hey Calamari, what's up?" You gave him a pair of finger guns.

You glanced back over at Iida and Midoriya. "As a student, you're far superior to me-" Nope. Nope. Nevermind. That was just weird.