A Whole New Adventure

Part 12

James propped his broom by her dresser and joined her in bed, closing the curtains behind him and casting a silencing charm around them. The couple lied in bed similar to how they slept in James' room, her head on his chest and his fingers running through her hair.

"I was too lazy to walk down to the pitch earlier, so I kept it in my room. It worked out for us didn't it? I got here much quicker."

Clarissa closed her eyes and hummed, basking in the soothing feeling of James' touch. The sound of his heartbeat was like a metronome, helping her fall asleep.

"Are you nervous for tomorrow? Is that why you couldn't sleep?" James murmured.

She gave a big sigh, "It's not that. Well, maybe it is, but it's not the only thing."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, you know how much I've dreamt of coming here and doing magic and whatnot, and after finally seeing the castle—seeing our friends—I just thought... Wow. This is amazing and I want nothing to ruin this for me. Then I remembered what's beyond these walls, the killings, the war and I was thinking how selfish I was to not want to fight in that war; a war I know I can prevent but I don't want to because I'm scared."

James didn't say anything, so Clarissa continued speaking her thoughts.

"You know, before we left, mum told me to not think about the horcruxes whilst I'm here and all I could think was how could I not think about it you know? It's practically the reason why I want to learn so much, so I'm able to defeat Him. But once we got here all those thoughts flew right out of my head."

James embraced Clarissa tighter in his arms, "I don't think it's selfish of you Clar. We're barely adults for Merlin's sake. We shouldn't even be dragged in this mess but here we both are, still trying to fight in it."

"I'd have you checked in St. Mungo's if you aren't scared if I'm being honest. Godric, I'm scared. I'm terrified shitless; for my parents, for Sirius, for you. Especially for you."

The reminder of her new fate made the atmosphere between the two even more somber. The two teens were scared for each other for two different reasons; for Clarissa it was his outcome, for James it was her. Just her. The knowledge she holds was too much for a single person to bear.

"I'll tell you everything, I promise. Someday, just not today," She told him, looking up to meet his eyes.

"I already know my fate; how worse can it get?" James tried to jest.

The thoughts of Sirius Black—the same Sirius she got to know this summer—in Azkaban flittered through her mind. The same Peter Pettigrew, who she remembers helping to finish his class work for the past five years, being cornered by Sirius and Remus in the Shrieking Shack demanding an explanation as to why he would betray someone they all considered a brother to Voldemort and ultimately leading him to his death.

The glassy look in Clarissa's eyes told James he said the wrong thing. Tucking her into his chest, he murmured soft apologies in her ear and consoled her. He suggested that they stop talking about the subject, that it can wait for another day. Clarissa wholeheartedly agreed.

"I didn't mean to bring down the mood. It's just the thoughts in my head get too much sometimes and I can't—"

"I understand, love. Never feel bad for needing to let out how you feel, especially with me. Now, close your eyes. We need to get to sleep if we want to be awake for classes tomorrow."

Clarissa followed James' instructions and let herself be calmed by his presence and actions. When Clarissa woke up the next day, she was still wrapped around the messy boy's arms. Godric, she wished for the days when she could wake up next to him every day. Grabbing her wand, she cast a quick Tempus charm and saw that it was a quarter to eight in the morning. Clarissa gently woke up James from his sleep so that he could go back to his own common room to get ready for the day.