Hate Me Harder [BxB] ✔️ [NOT EDITED]

(31)Hate the bits and pieces of him

She raised a brow. "You... don't know?"

I nodded like I was shivering, stuffing my hands into my pockets. First thing when getting home Alan, take a shower.

"How's that possible?" Bailey asked, her straight hair falling in front. "How can you... spend the night with someone when you're not sure what you feel about them?"

Now I was thrown back. "Um, Bailey, you either get drunk like my stupid ass did, or you just go for it. It's sex."

She cringed at that and I choked back a laugh. I really did miss a nice girl and let her slip from my hands.

Too bad I don't feel anything towards her.

Max on the other hand...

"Okay, okay, so you don't know how you feel. But, what about Max? Did he say anything when you guys..."

She waved her hands in the air, as if indicating sparkles. Usually, under different circumstances, I would've cracked up. But, I was too shaken to care. Ignoring her, I slowly nodded. "He told me he liked me... just before he left."

Bailey was surprised as well. See? I'm not the only one. "Okay, so, that's good right?"

I choked back a laugh. "Good? Bailey, how's that a good thing?!" Then I whisper, "he fucking told me that he fucking likes me!"

She flinched every time I swore. Great, a female Max Winters right in front of me.

"Enlighten me how this is good, please."

"Alright then, we'll start with one, you just said that you might like him as well. I don't know about you Alan, but most people are dying to have something other than a one-sided love life."

I gave a deadpanned look.

"And two, that's guy's literally perfect, what could you not like?! Plus, you even got to see everything, outside and in—"

"Bailey!"

She giggled. "What? You can talk about gross things and I can't?"

"That's not the point... the thing is, he can't like me!" She didn't seem to catch up, so I said it out loud. "I hate him! He's supposed to hate me! He's not supposed to be gay! Or bi, or whatever he is! I'm not supposed to be... whatever I am!" I huffed, taking a breath before continuing. "He's supposed to be the perfect guy, finding the perfect girl for him! I'm supposed to find a girl for me who I'm supposed to take home and marry and shit! You know, girls like you!"

There was a pause within us before Bailey muttered a, "I thought that you don't hate him..." I glared at her and she said, "so, that's your problem..."

I raised a brow.

"Don't worry Alan, I think you're going to be fine."

I raised my other brow.

"Look, maybe you should just put your feelings aside and figure out things one by one. What's the most important thing right now, that involves Max?"

I groaned, slapping my face with a loud 'chuck'. "The English project. It's due on Monday. And we haven't finished it yet."

Bailey led us back out without saying anything, to help the rest of the guys finish cleaning up. Then when we were a little away from them, picking the paper cups from the bushes in the garden, she muttered. "Just be normal. Tell Max what you want without making things awkward. If you like him, you'll figure out what to do."

I stared at her, turning back to check on the guys before pouting at her. "How?"

She smiled, continuing her duty. I followed. "I think you'd know if he's worth it or not."

I didn't. I mean, I knew, I l-liked... Max. At least, it felt like it. I was never myself when I was with him. At first, maybe I did deny it. I mean, who wouldn't? But now, even if I don't remember the details, I'd be stupid to do so. There's something there. Just like what he said.

Looking at him, I always forget everything around me. He made me stare. He made me reckless. Red.

Of course, Bailey didn't know all that detailed version. It wasn't my fault too, because, she didn't ask, specifically at least.

"Alan, what are thinking?"

I cleared my throat, pretending I didn't hear her.

"Hey, Trev!" I listened to her call out to the house owner as I picked the last trash and heading back to the house.

"I've got a doubt!"

The guys were all tuned in. Especially since she was the only girl around. Why was she still with the guys? It didn't make me feel well. Almost as if, I was possessive. No, protective.

I didn't want Bailey getting into things that could hurt her.

"Spill, spill Bailey, I'm smart."

One of the other dudes snorted, "no you're not."

Trev waved it off and so did Bailey. 

"Have you fallen in love before?"

The question caught all of us off guard. I was giving owl eyes at Bailey which went unnoticed while the rest of the idiots wolf-whistled, thinking that she meant it in more than one way.

Trev, to my horror, blushed.

"W-what?"

Bailey didn't see that though. Clueless ladies...

"Love? Why?"

"Just asking. I wanted to know how it feels."

The guys chuckled but Trev went serious, thinking before saying, "no, but I know how it feels because that's all my sister ever talked about ever since she got her boyfriend."

Everyone waited, burning holes on him for answers.

Finally, he huffed and said, "she says that you just know, you know? You're always thinking about them."

He thought for a second, while I did my own.

I'm always, kinda', thinking about him.

"You heart skips a beat when they smile or say something. Almost like an attack or something."

I remember the trip, or those times when I felt like he was dragging me into some kind of outer-space.

"You go red when they hold you close because of how warm and safe they feel. A touch is enough to send you crazy."

As much as found it so foreign, I knew what I felt. His touch sends me to heaven and back.

"Just the usual romantic stuff... oh, and she also says, they'd be the hardest person to fight with, mostly because you know them so well that it's hard to find a new weak spot."

The place got a little awkward after he finished.

Thankfully, his house was fully cleaned and we all waved a bye soon. Bailey and I got dropped off by one of them since we didn't have a ride.

When she got off, Bailey didn't forget to turn back and smile at me. "Call me if you get a heart attack." Then she leaned in, so Joe, the guy who's driving us home, didn't listen in. "I think I have a feeling that I know who banged who last night."

I choked and coughed the whole way, a clear image of something I was trying to forget, flashing at the back of my head.

All because of my new friend. And him, of course.

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