Dysphoria?

Sh*t sucks

          TW-panick attacks, anxiety attack, self-harm, talks of past sexual assault, PTSD, child abuse, child neglect, abusive relationships, a sexual assault scene (not to graphic tho)
                PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE TW'S THIS CHAPTER CAN BE VERY TRIGGERING TO SOME VIEWERS.
---------------------------------------------

You didn't intend for this to happen god no you woild rather go your whole life without having to deal with this but here you are in a church bathroom because of your stupid PTSD.

                      Flashback.                   

You are doing good your in a church for someones funeral you couldn't care who it was for so you zoned out.

A hand had suddenly made contact with your shoulder making you flinch without attending too.

You had looked up to see Natasha one of the greatest Avengers but also a very close friend of yours and clint.

She looked down at you with worry laced into her gaze god thos eyes looked deadly but caring at the same time.

You shuffled in your chair closer to her and sent her a small forced smile with a wink.

She blushed and playful nugged your shoulder when suddenly you two were interupted by a scoff you both looked over to see your mom looking not to pleased.

"Yes mother?" You said more then asked trying to get this shit over with.

"Why aren't you interacting with your family instead of being over here with "her".  Your mother asked spitefully obviously trying to get under your skin."

"Because I can hang out with whoever I want to now go away and stop bothering me."

Your mother obviously didn't like the way you talked to her and clenched her fist.

"Darling I am your mother now if you woild please-" your mother tried to plead with you but you cut her off

"You stopped being my mother the moment you stopped acting like one" It had taken everything in you not to yell at her for trying to pull that "I am your mother card"

"Look I know I wasn't the best mother back then but if you give me a chance I could make it up to you" she said look at you with sadness in her eyes and her lips quivering

When you didn't respond back to her immediately she took that as a chance to continue.

"I didn't mean to do to you what I did but my mind was in a bad place and we both know that your father was an abusive scumbag so please give a chance." she had years streaming down her face by now.

You gritted your teeth was she really trying to gas light you again? Like she wasn't more of a worse person then your father ever was.

Before you could snap at her doing some shit like this again your breath had hitched from the pain that suddenly shot through your back.

Natasha had obvoisly noticed your out od place behavior and placed a hand on your shoilder for comfort.

When you felt a hand on your shoilder you had flinched away fear evident in your eyes when a flashback to your old babysitter had hit you.

Your vision became blurry and your head felt foggy you realized a moment to late that your ribs possibly more then one had broke and your back was cramping from to much meds.

That's when a hand was suddenly brushing against your cheek and you only felt your ex's hand from when he would try to apologize.

You had flinched away (again) to go ahead and leave the room to go to the restrooms in hopes of your panick attack calming down.

Which it did not calm down at all you were starting to feel dizzy and tired panic attacks always took a lot out of you no matter what and it made you feel weak.

You got a text suddenly you picked up your phone in hopes that Nat had texted you cause you needed her help currently even though you felt quite embarrassed.

When you looked to see who texted you, you froze cause it wasn't Nat but it was your Ex-boyfriend Kenta on of the most sadistic and abusive bastard you had met,

You felt sick to your stomach at what he said "send? " his texted had read and that simple word held so much meaning almost to much.

You heard the bathroom door open before you could respond to his text for you to lay your eyes upon your step father you gagged at that.

He obviously didn't like that and scoffed at your actions he walked towards you and grabbed a handful of your and pulled your head back.

You had gasped at the sudden pain and gagged again the ache in your body and headache growing your step-father rolled his eyes at your gasp glaring at you with a predatory look in his eyes.

"Do you know how embarrassing that was for you to start shut like that then come lay in here to be the disgusting pityful fat pig you are!? " he yelled obviously very pisses off.

He moved your head back down and kneed you in the nose causing it to red your nose has always been sensitive head pulled you head back up to slap you start throwing more insults at you, you didn't bother to listen to.

When suddenly he caressed your cheek cheek smear the blood from your bloody nose on it "gusse I'll have to punish you like the nasty whore you are huh? Your step-father said with a smirk.

Your eyes widened realizing what he was gonna do to you (again) you were gonna attempt to scream for help but he placed his hand over your mouth silencing you.

"Scream and your little sister gets it worse then you" he stated you nodded your head knowing he wasn't lying he unzipped his pants and pulled his boxers down.

His shoved his thumb into your mouth groaning at the disgusted look on your face with a smirk he started caressing his hard cock and groaned again taking join at the pure fear in your eyes.

He took his cock out and shoved it in your mouth he groaned at the feeling and started throat fucking you till he came down your throat when suddenly his phone rang.

He was started talking to someone on the phone for wht felt like was forever (it was only 5 minutes) when he hung up he pulled out and fixed his self up so it look like he hasn't just sexually assaulted you.

"I have to go help your mom with some people I'll be right back to finish this" he stated with a wink and left you immediately ran to one of the toilets and started vomiting trying to hold back your sobs feeling disgusted with yourself.

Sorry this is short I'll try to upload the rest tomorrow

              (11333 words)