SamBucky Oneshots

Wrecked

"I killed Riley."

Sometimes I wish that I could see you one more day, 
one more rainy day

Bucky opened his eyes to catch a frail look of hurt in Sam's eyes. For the first time, he could see hurt deep within Sam, he could practically notice Sam's heart chipping away. Bucky did it. He broke the bravest man he knew, he broke Captain America. 
That look quickly vanished and anger radiated through Sam's voice, "Get out," He said in a low tone through his teeth gritted. Bucky didn't need to be told twice, he knew what he had done and he knew it was unforgivable.
He could feel his taped heart slowly crumbling away as he walked towards the door of the room. Bucky couldn't take another step, he was losing himself, he knew he would lose himself. He needed Sam. Sam was the moon that kept the darkness away from Bucky, Sam was the highlighter in Bucky's life. He cannot live without him, knowing that he has broken his heart and trust. 
"Sam I-"
"GET OUT!"
Bucky dug his teeth into his lower lip hustled towards the front door. Tears were brimming in his eyes, daring to trickle out any second. He could now practically feel blood dripping down his jaw as he wiped it away from his metal hand. His moon was gone, he was surrounded with darkness, his highlighter was gone, his life was dull.
Before stepping out in the rain, he looked back at Sam, who still had his eyes burning red from crying. Tears were spilling over his cheek and Bucky wanted to apologise again, yet he knew better. 
Giving one last nod to the man he loved, Bucky turned away. Stepping into the rain which drenched him almost immediately. He could still feel the ghost of Sam's body wrapped around his, Sam's words ringing in his ears. He lost.....everything - life. 
The raindrops slithered over his metal arm, he felt nothing but a faint memory hitting his head. 
The memory where Sam and Bucky were happy - ecstatic. That life, that moment was gone now - because of him, because he killed Riley. He had done it, not the Winter Soldier...it was still him. 
Crispy winds pushed Bucky further, making his body shiver and his jaw quiver. Behind those water droplets covering his face, were hot tears. Tears that he couldn't hold on any longer, tears that wouldn't dry. 
He dared to turn back to get a final look at Sam, but all he could capture was the aura of Sam, still standing by the doorway, a morbid look on his face. 

Turning back to start another life, where there would be no one; Bucky started walking. 
Suddenly, a strong force caused him to crash onto the nearby car. His ears were ringing and his vision was blur. When the dust cleared and the rain stopped, Bucky could finally make out what had exploded!

Oh I'm a wreck without you here
yes I'm a wreck since you've been gone

Bucky twirled on his heels and shot the man before him. He couldn't let his emotions take over him, not now anyways. The man yelped in pain and fell back. Bucky could've left him there, but he didn't. His adrenaline plummeted as he viciously walked towards the man and seized his neck with his metal arm. callousness devouring him from within even when the man whimpered and begged for his life.
The main thing about losing hope is that you stop believing - Bucky had stopped believing that he can be something better than The Winter Soldier. When Sam wasn't there to pull him back from the darkness, he dived within it; making the worse decisions. He felt numb towards anything and everything, the only person who made him feel was Sam, and now he was gone. Snatched away from him, forever. Everything Bucky loved was always pulled away from his reach, hence he stopped grasping for anything. 
A snap made Bucky twitch his neck before letting the man fall on the ground, his veins popping out from his eyes and blood gushing out of his mouth ..... indifferent. 
The feeling of being nothing more than a killer had always been in Bucky's mind, Sam only managed to place those thoughts at the back of Bucky's head. 
Bucky was broken....he always had been. 

I tried to put this all behind me
I think I was wrecked all along

Making his way through the many bodies which littered the floor, Bucky managed to get out of that area with his head draped by his hood. He stumbled across a banner which had his picture on. 'Wanted'. Bucky could do nothing but scoff. He was killing all those terrorists that no one dared to touch - people should be grateful to him and yet here they were, sending police escorts to get him arrested. The picture was old, Bucky could tell because he had short hair, and a twinkle in his eyes - the picture was probably taken when ..... 
Bucky realised that he could no longer think of the word 'Sam'. It pained him in every way. If only that perfect man was here to pull him away from the nightmare he was living... 

Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all away
One more rainy day without you 
Sometimes I wish that I could see you one more day
One more rainy day