Shades of Petals

I've Been Thinking Lately

Taking his hand and feeling warmth fill her, she thought about it. She didn't really have a destination in mind. She only wanted to get out of there before she went stir crazy, and she also just wanted to spend as much time with Francis as she could.

"Anywhere," she declared. "Surprise me."

He was oddly quiet for a moment, before he nodded and gripped her hand tightly, leading her out of his office.

༻❁༺

Francis didn't know where they'd go. But if she wanted to go out of the building, he'd take her out and just stay with her. He wanted to focus on the positive too —like how he'd finally gotten her to call him by his first name.

He didn't know it could be so pleasant either. But coming from Atsushi, there was just a different feeling to hearing his name that he couldn't understand, other than to know it made him happy and warm to hear it from her.

He was embarrassed and amused that Louisa got an easy pass on that, only because Atsushi hadn't even known the other's last name. The same with Lucy. It was unsurprising of the others though, since back then they had had no reason to really let their enemy know who they were or properly introduce themselves; hence Atsushi having no clue when it came to Nathaniel, Margaret, John, Mark, Lovecraft and Herman. Poor James probably had never been a thought.

"You really won't tell me who he is?" Francis asked softly, unable to not circle back to that thought. If he could find that man...

Most people could be bought. It's rare to find one who couldn't be.

Glancing at Atsushi, seeing how pale she was, with even her lips looking bloodless, and the circles around her normally bright beautiful sunset for eyes...

No expense would be too much, if it meant saving her.

She gave him a wan smile and shook her head. "Absolutely not. You wouldn't be able to change his mind. He won't...can't have feelings for me."

"Why not?" he asked hotly, feeling frustrated. "And don't say you're not worth it! You are!" And she was. He was more than tired and upset at always hearing her talk down at herself, like when she'd tell him he didn't have to spend so much on 'someone like her' or when she brought up little things from her past that she sounded so nonchalant about, even though those things were not okay.

"He's happy and in love," she murmured, looking downwards. "All I want is for him to be happy."

His heart clenched, partly for her sweet, heartbreaking words and also for some other unnamed feeling, caused by the idea of her feeling so strongly for someone like this —enough to selflessly let him be happy and in love with another person, while she was left to suffer and pine after him.

"He doesn't deserve you," he muttered angrily.

She took one of his arms and wrapped herself around it, squeezing it once as she gave him a fond smile. His breath hitched at that smile, wanting to imprint it in his memory and cherish it, especially directed at him.

"You deserve someone who loves you," he said mournfully.

The man she loved was a fool.

"Hush you," her smile trembled a bit before she was again coughing up petals. He silently took out his handkerchief and wiped her mouth for her again, making her look embarrassed. "I don't want to focus on the Hanahaki and who deserves what," she said stubbornly. "I just want...You're with me now. I want to enjoy my time with you."

"...But —" Though he was happy to hear her wanting to spend time and enjoy being with him, he didn't want to just leave the matter alone.

"No buts!" she said. Her voice was tinged with desperation now. "Please, Francis! I just...I just want to feel happy for whatever time I have left being with you, b-before I go."