Heart's Desire

Chapter 1 - Monty

Easier for me, I mean. Sometimes I have trouble tearing myself away from my favorite nephew and niece.

Dane follows me out onto the porch.

"Hey," he says, tapping the side of my arm with a thin stack of twenty-dollar bills, "thanks for watching the pups. You're a lifesaver."

I laugh to hide a wince. He just hit a sore spot, and I don't want him to know it.

"Aww, you know I won't take your money, Dane," I say. "Hell, I'd pay you to let me spend time with those kids."

He lowers his hand, knowing it's no good to press once I've made up my mind.

"How's the job hunt going?" he asks, changing the subject. "Any luck?"

"Not much." I shrug, shielding my eyes as I gaze out over the little field of wildflowers that I'd helped Julian plant that spring. "But it's okay. I'm still enjoying my 'retirement.'"

"Monty..." Dane sighs unhappily. "Look, I'm thrilled to have you here, and I'm honored you've chosen to join my Pack. But it seems like you sacrificed a lot when you moved here — like a stable, well-paying job. There's gotta be people who need bodyguards in Spring Lakes. Why don't you ask Ambrose? He knows all the rich assholes around here."

"Oh, no," I say. "I don't wanna bother him. 'Sides, I've always made it on my own. I don't want a job that's only given as a favor, anyway."

Dane shrugs. "Alright, brother. But I won't stand to see you struggle. You need help, you ask for it. That's the rule here."

I nod. "I gotcha. So... you need me Saturday night?" I try to keep the hopefulness from my voice, but from the way Dane frowns — like he does when he's hiding a smile — I know I fail.

"Saturday afternoon," he says. "And you can stay for dinner this time."

He says it like it's an order, more than an invitation, and I nod again. He is my alpha, after all. "You got it. I'll bring a dish."

"No tofu," he adds. "Julian hates that stuff."

"Yeah, yeah." I wave at him, laughing as I walk to my car, and then mutter under my breath. "Julian hates it. Uh-huh."

~ ☾ ~

As I drive home, I mull things over in my mind. Dane's right, though he'd never say it to my face. I've been sitting on my ass long enough.

On the surface, I came here to help my brother start his own Pack, and to be close to my little niece and nephew. That's true. But it wasn't any hardship, either.

In fact, I'd already left my old job. I just hadn't gotten around to telling anyone yet. Moving here gave me the excuse I needed to explain why I'd abandoned my career. But that's all it was — an excuse. The real reason is something I don't want to talk about yet, even with Dane.

The real reason is I made a mistake. I failed. And when your job is to protect someone else's life, failing is bad. Very bad.

Dane's right about another thing too: there are people in Spring Lakes who need bodyguards. What he doesn't know is that I'd vowed never to work as a bodyguard again.

On the other hand, I'd used up most of my savings over the last year, and while Dane didn't know it, I had been looking for work. Found it, too, a few times. I'd never told anyone, though, because I never lasted more than two weeks.

In retail, I either made the customers nervous, or was "too nice" (giving people things for free makes managers angry, I've learned).

In customer service, I speak too soft and too slow (I can talk fine with family and friends, but strangers are difficult).