Sir Saladvocate - Lokius

🥑 All extremes of feeling are allied with madness.

"Truly, what is it with B-15 and tomatoes?" he asks. "Just after you left yesterday, she burst in to see that I'd dropped one on the floor, and I... just barely made it out alive."

"Mm," Mobius regards, pointing the end of his knife unthreateningly in his direction. "Lucky you." And then, quickly changing the subject, he motions to the ridges on the blade.

"Okay, I picked up some serrated knives because tomatoes are a bitch to cut with ordinary ones," he informs Loki with slight caution, beginning to demonstrate how to carve it into the flesh of the fruit. "Just, safely, back and forth until you slice through."

Loki nods, picking up the tomato and taking a breath. "Back in Asgard—"

"Don't hold the tomato in your hand," Mobius interrupts, reaching over and forcing Loki to keep the tomato on the table and cut toward the surface rather than his own skin. "Never, especially with that kind of blade, cut toward yourself."

Loki states down at the tomato as he places it dramatically on the table. Pursing his lips with internalized irritation, he begins his sentence again.

"Back in Asgard, we would crush tomatoes and put them over thin, boiled breads rather than cutting them," he comments. Mobius does not find this as new or interesting as expected.

"Yeah, spaghetti. Tomato sauce and pasta. Everyone has that."

Loki furrows his brow, too involved in conversation to actually slice the fruit at all. "Then why do you cut them?"

"I don't know," Mobius sighs. "Because it's always been done here. Does anyone really know why they do anything? Like, for example, why are you skinning it?"

This is a fair question, as he has finally taken notice of the fact that the only part of the tomato that has been sliced off has been a pile of its outer shell. Loki treats this question as if it's very obvious.

"Skins, rinds, and pulps are the most nutritious part of any fruit or vegetable, and—where I come from—are often valued more highly than the meat." And then he eats a pile of the skins, which is a sight Mobius will never be able to rid from his head.

"Okay," he swallows with slight nausea, turning back to his own tomato. "So you'll want to cut it into sections..."

Loki does not cut it into sections. "Imagine how many—"

"Loki, could you listen to me for one second and just do what I say?" Mobius pleads airily as he sets his wrists down on the table. This is the most blatant way he shows his exasperation, tipping his head and giving Loki an expression of pure disappointment. "If you want to eat the skin, just do that later. Put it over there, or... something." He motions to a spot slightly out of both his sight and Loki's immediate reach.

"Okay, fine," Loki breathes. "What do you want me to do?"

Mobius begins to demonstrate again. "Slice it into sections like this and scrape out the seeds," he says. "All that inside is mostly water and will ruin your food unless you plan on making something liquid with it. Anyway, what were you saying?"

Loki's eyes flit back and forth from Mobius' tomato to his own as he attempts to follow his instruction. "I was thinking about how many of these we could get through in this time if the TVA let me duplicate myself."

"Yeah," Mobius replies. "If you projected maybe ten more Lokis in here, I'd say we could cut around two entire tomatoes pretty soon. Maybe within the next two or eleven hours." He smiles proudly to himself.

Loki glowers and tilts his head. "Not funny," he claims, even though he is aware that he's lying. He's used to this concept. "Don't pick on me. I'm new at this."