A Truly Romantic Story In Which Romana And The Doctor Improvise

Improvisation

"You left me," she said, "to die. It's not very nice for people to do that."

He spluttered for a moment, before regaining his composure. "I thought you were dead! I mourned you! For weeks!"

"Yes," she replied rather severely. "But it would be rather quite a good idea to check if the person you are mourning is dead before beginning to mourn them."

He had to concede that point. "You could have left me a message, though."

"I did."

"I didn't get it."

"I guessed as much."

He folded his arms. "Where did you leave them, then?"

She sighed. "I wrote them on the diamond cliffs of Planet One. They're the oldest words in the universe. I thought that you'd go there. It seemed like the sort of place you'd go."

"I did go there!" he protested. "My time travelling wife from the future graffitied over them in order to save the universe!"

"You have a wife?"

He suddenly realized that it was the worst possible thing for him to say at this point in time, and so suddenly backtracked. "Well, I may not have a wife. We both meet in opposite directions. And she attempted to kill me, and actually succeeded, which is fair grounds for a divorce as far as I'm concerned." He paused. "Well, yes, technically I'm still married. So don't go trying to seduce me."

"What makes you think I'm going to seduce you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. It just seems like the sort of thing you'd do."

"Seducing would probably be best undertaken in the console room, not while we're both sitting underneath a cliff on the planet Skaro."

"Fair point. Do you want to go to the console room, then?"

"I thought you didn't want me to seduce you."

Another shrug. "I changed my mind. Do you still have that outfit of yours...?"

"Which one? I have a lot of outfits."

"The one with the ridiculous fluffy bits."

"No. No, I don't. I hated that dress."

"I liked that dress."

"Well, do you still have that dreadful scarf of yours?"

"No, I took it apart. But I liked it. Maybe."

"We could improvise."

"Improvise with what?"

"We're Time Lords. We can improvise however we want. If you put your sonic screwdriver onto 43..."

"What does that do?"

She pulled him close, and whispered something in his ear. He almost blushed.

"Oh. Oh, right."

She pulled out a steampunk-style rod with lots of twiddly bits from her pocket. "I have one, too."

He looked at it. "What is that monstrosity?"

"I told you, it's my sonic screwdriver." She paused, and then added, slightly proudly. "It has three settings."

He sighed.

"Anyway," she continued. "Moving on. Do you like my newest regeneration?"

He scrutinized her carefully. "It is rather... attractive."

"Don't you think?" She twirled a bit. "I haven't had a chance to test it out, though. I regenerated just a few days ago."

"Oh," he said. "How exactly did you...?"

"Regenerate? Oh, nothing special. Just a mob of angry villagers with pitchforks, the supposed reincarnation of Aristotle, a pack of ocelots, and a jelly donut."

"I'm not even going to ask," he sighed. "But yes, I do like it."

She looked at him. "Is this the part where we're supposed to kiss?"

"I suppose so." He leaned in. "I haven't done this for a while. Are we just supposed to..?"

She leaned in too, and they bumped noses awkwardly. "No, we should really go like..."

He tilted, she tilted too, and they ended up in the exact same position as before.

"Okay," he said, drawing back. "How about you stay exactly as you were, and I manoeuvre myself in?"

"Sounds good," she agreed, and they did.

And since this is a K+ rated story, I'm afraid I can't tell you any more of what they did after that. But there were sparkly objects, lime jello, and a silver rabbit named Jed involved. And they did it in the console room.