Milk Tea and Love notes | Yeonbin ✓

3

Dear Soobin,

I know you probably want to know who I am, but I think it's better that you don't. I don't want to disappoint you. 

When you smile, and your eyes curve like little moons, you look even more beautiful and handsome than you usually do. When I talk to you and you give me that smile, my heart beats so fast that I get worried that you might hear it too.

I wonder if I should stop sending you these? Do you think I'm weird, admiring you like this from afar? Sending you these instead of telling you my feelings face to face?

But, I am scared. What if you would hate me after that?

That would hurt too much. I wish I had the courage to tell you my feelings in person but I'm scared of losing you.

I wish I could be the person you'd share things with, instead of keeping them bottled inside and dealing with them alone. But I know that that's just wishful thinking.

You were always my wishful thinking, the one that I wish for, but always just in my thoughts. 

Love,

Y

Soobin wants to yell, shout at them that it's not weird.

Don't stop sending me these, they make my day, he wants to say. But he couldn't. The letters in the locker have quickly become the highlight of his week. But he knows that it's not fair to ask of whoever this is.

It's not fair because Soobin's heart already belongs to someone else. Someone whom Soobin wishes were the one sending him these. Someone who Soobin hopes that the Y who is signing these letters might be.

But that's not possible.

Soobin clutches the letter in his hands, breaths coming quicker suddenly. As much as he liked receiving these letters, the heart wants what it wants, and definitely, Soobin's has always wanted Yeonjun, just him. 

His eyes tickle up with tears as soon as he thinks about his situation, the letter still clutched so hard, his eyes staring at the void, thoughts somewhere.

"Soobin, are you ready?" Yeonjun bursts into his room suddenly, and Soobin jumbles to put away the letter in his hand, regretting when the otherwise undamaged withered paper crumbles a little. "Are you...crying?"

"No," Soobin mumbles, but his voice breaks, giving him away. He didn't even realize he was crying. 

This time, the letter sounded so sad, so painful that it cut Soobin's heart deeply. Not for the first time, Soobin wishes he knew who this was, just so he can reassure them, give them a hug, tell them it'll be okay. "I j-just need a second."

Soobin understands how his secret admirer exactly feels. Only able to look at the person you love from afar, but unable to talk to them or even hint about your feelings; because it may risk what they have. 

That's why Soobin's heart hurts when he looks at Yeonjun sometimes. He feels both incredibly lucky to have Yeonjun in his life and also cursed to only to be able to love him from distance. He knows he has to move on before Yeonjun catches a hint on his feelings because just have Yeonjun's friendship is already a blessing for him.

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hope you find this story interesting ❤