A Heart's Desire (Book 1)

Chapter 17

"Look...Romain, I-" I start, but he cuts me off.

"It's okay Eva...I know you never planned on being pulled in so many directions emotionally...or hurting me. I can't be angry with you for having complicated feelings." He murmurs, a completely different tune than the last time we talked.

"Still...I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, you were dealing with rejection and sorting out your feelings, trying to figure out what's next...and I was being a jerk about you not knowing exactly what you wanted...it wasn't fair of me."

"Thank you Romain...for understanding." I hug him, but notice a ticked off looking Julian standing off to the side. He shouldn't be angry with me for having friends. Surely he has noticed that I stopped dating Romain. Right?

"Just know that you have a lot of people here that care about you, and that you'll always be a member of Blackrose Swamp."

Sienna POV

The combined warmth and sadness in everyone's eyes tonight, gives me mixed emotions as its evident that they feel also.

This has been an eventful month. Mariah and Juniper got together, and Brazil and Phoebe discovered they are mates. Romain grew as a Gamma, Tyson and Grant grew as warriors and this is partially due to Eva. Eva met Devaney. We delivered the message about the Sanguis Silence and Crimson Edge Packs, and we are taking that same message to the Tidewater and New Dawn Packs.

But not everything was a blessing - if you want to look at it that way. Eva found love, but is giving it up for the sake of fate. I'm not really sure it's worth it, especially looking at the expressions on not only Eva but Julian's faces. You can tell that he reciprocates the love that Eva feels for him.

So it's difficult to watch those two skirt around the obvious as she and I say our goodbyes to all the new friends we made, both of them clearly holding on to what little denial they can manage to pretend that we aren't leaving in the morning...but I don't say anything.

I personally would have said screw the fates and stayed with him if I were in her shoes...but I'm not. This is her life, and her heart...so it's her choice. Even if think it's a painful one. The only amount of piece of mind come from the fact that Phoebe let it slip that she had a vision about Eva and Julian - one day they would be together. Oh how I hope that comes true.

So as the night wears down and everyone begins to trickle out, me and Eva trudge upstairs to our rooms, her silence no doubt meaning she has a lot on her mind.

"Night Sienna..." She murmurs as she enters her room, not even waiting for my response.

"Night Eva. Sleep well." I whisper back before shutting my door.

Goodbyes are always a bitch.

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~Eva POV~

Overnight I realized that I've made the right decision, and get up to go talk with Devaney and explain the situation as best as possible when talking with a three-year-old. I have discussions with Rin and Gryphon about helping Devaney while I am away.

I went back to the pack house, Sienna and I load up my car. We say our goodbyes as we leave the pack house for the last time this trip, but not before I leave Julian a little surprise. He is one that always enjoys his sleep so much, and he jumps in bed and snuggles in with his pillow. Tonight will be a different experience when his pillow pops and cracks after squeezing it to death. Score one for the joys of bubble wrap. I just wish I could be there to see it, but I'm not about to let Julian Le Tourneau oust me in our prank war.

"You honestly didn't think you could leave without everyone saying goodbye, right?" I hear, but pretend not to.

"Eva." Julian calls out, and I try to avert his gaze.

But damn his speed. "Evangeline, don't you dare sidestep me."

"What do you want?"

"Why are you leaving? Why are you leaving me?"

"I'm sure you know why. This..." pointing between us. "This - can't happen."

"And why not?"

"Your mate will come one day, Julian, and I won't stand in the way of that." I pause looking up into those beautiful silver blue eyes. "No matter how I feel."

He wraps me into a tight hug. "Why? Why is this happening? Why is this so hard? Don't you feel the pull also?"

"Yeah, I feel a pull, but it isn't strong - not like a mate pull should be. I'll miss you - miss you with every fiber of my being, but this is for the best."

"For who? You don't have to answer - I know what you're going to say. It isn't fair." His voice cracks, and I know I have to get out of this house.

"I need to get out of here. For both of us."

He reluctantly lets go but not before placing a kiss on my forehead. I race out of the house like it's on fire - my heart ripping in two.

Game on - for Romain and Julian.

*************** a few days later***************

~Julian POV~

So a few days after Eva leaves Blackrose the first time, Scarlett asked me to come to her office.

"Why are you sulking Jules?"

"No reason." I mutter out, which is very uncharacteristic for me.

"You love her, don't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Red." I say defiantly, certainly trying to hide my feelings.

"Your almost a fool Jules." She scolds.

"Why's that Red?"

"She loves you - you know." She responds.

"But she dated Romain." I reply flatly with a hint of jealousy.

"She dated Romain after you made it clear you were waiting for your mate. She cares for you enough to respect your wishes. But make no doubt about it, she fell in love with you." She continues.

"I made a promise to my mom to wait for my mate."

"I realize that, and I'm glad you are keeping that promise. It is one of the things that helps me think so highly of you. But make no mistakes about it, it will be hard when she returns to adopt Devaney." She says this solemnly, so I knew there is something she isn't telling me. I chose not to push it further.

"But I don't understand Red. Why would I feel a pull towards Eva if she isn't my mate?"

"Jules, I don't have an answer for that. Truly I don't. I wish I did so I could put your mind at ease. Eva is one special girl - maybe one day." Red whispers the last part, but I'm not so sure I heard her correct.

"What is that Red?"

"Nothing Jules. We have to get ready for this meeting. Here's the plan." And it is Alpha Blackrose who's back in control. No more answers from Red anytime soon. But I still wonder what she meant.