Fixing The Problems

Invaders From Mars - Part Three

"What, just the two of you?" Celestia questions this time.

"Of course not. Our ship teems with life an, erm, invincible invading army that will lay waste to this wretched planet." The alien explains.

"You don't sound very convinced." The Doctor remarks.

"Ignore them. I want to help you." Devine says.

"No, l-let me see. Breeding party? That's what you said, wasn't it?" The Doctor questions. "A breeding party. Oh, I think I've got it. What do you do, you - you shoot off a ship full of eggs or something onto different planets, let them hatch."

"Silence!" The alien shouts.

"Cause chaos, scare the daylights out of the population and then you two turn up, and offer what?" Celestia questions this time.

"Er." The alien says as he clears his throat.

"Security. That's it, isn't it?" The Doctor questions. "It's a big bad universe out there. Is that what you're saying? You fool people into thinking they're vulnerable, and then. It's a protection racket. A - an unbelievably huge protection racket. Oh, that's good." The Doctor says as he laughs.

"Is this true?" Devine asks in disbelief.

"A herd brother crashed on this world with his hatchling. Obviously the breeding failed. We have come to recover them." The alien explains.

"They didn't fail. They were just a little late." Celestia says.

"Then you can continue as normal. Subjugate this world. Don't listen to them. Even if you don't have an army, your weapons are far in advance of what we have here. You can still conquer." Devine says.

"Well, under normal circumstances, yes." The Doctor agrees.

"Explain?" The alien inquires.

"Well, as you say, little planets like this, they're vulnerable, and I'm afraid someone else has beaten you to it." The Doctor says.

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Devine questions.

"What on Earth indeed. The fact is, my hairy friends, this planet has already been invaded." The Doctor says.

"What?" The alien asks.

"By Martians." Celestia says.

"Mar-tians?" The alien asks again.

"Yes, Martians, from the planet Mars. Otherwise planet Sol Four." Celestia says.

"The red one you probably passed on your way in." The Doctor says as well.

"They're lying, don't listen to them." Devine shakes his head.

"Your words are false." The alien denies.

"Are they? Would you believe that right now there's a squadron of Martian war machines marching across country to intercept you." The Doctor says.

"Do you play a game, thing?" The alien asks.

"No I do not. Your arrival here has not gone unnoticed. There are hostile invaders out to get you, bigger, nastier, hairier ones than you." The Doctor goes on.

"Did you not try to resist them?" Streath joins the conversation.

"Of course, but they're too strong. They're still arriving as we speak." Celestia says.

"Whole sections of the world are ignorant of their presence. Go now while you're still able. Let these people go. We'll gather up your chicks, and we can all go home." The Doctor finishes off.