Pull Me Closer

Chapter 1

       You know that quote that goes, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."? Well, I can tell you that it's false. Very false. It's like falling off your bike and getting a scrape, it's painful, it bleeds, and then you get a scar. The new skin that makes the scar isn't as strong as your old skin. Imagine falling and scraping that scar everywhere you go. It never heals. Well, unfortunately, that's what my life is like. You can choose to believe in those dumb quotes all you want, but there's really no point, at least not for me.

Ethan Donavan. That's the name of my boyfri- I mean ex-boyfriend. If you're wondering- he broke up with me. Why? I'm not exactly sure, but I didn't really love him anyways. You're probably asking yourself, "Why would she lead him on like that if she didn't even love him?". I have the answer for you. I've lost all sense of love. I've forgotten what it feels like, but at the same time I still vaguely remember. I don't give what I don't know. So in other words, I don't give love. I've lost my mom, and for my dad, well, I never actually met the guy. He left the picture when he found out my mom was pregnant with me. My mom died when I was 15, and I'm 17 now. My little twin brothers died right after birth because their ambilocal chords choked them to death. I know I don't sound very sympathetic and trust me, I was sad for sure, but it's hard to morn people you've never even met. As far as it goes for boys, I've only truly loved 2 of them. One of them is named Chad, and the other is named Brent. The name Chad kind of sounds like the name of someone who is stuck up and who would probably cheat on you. Ironically enough, that's exactly what Chad was and did; And for Brent, he was the sweetest. It completely wrecked my heart when I had to break up with him. He didn't do anything wrong, he was truly one of the kindest, caring, good-looking, funny, charming people you could ever meet. Unfortunately, it ended on the note of, "it's not you, it's me" which in my defense was true, I fell out of love with him. 

Anyways aside from that depressing story- oh wait, that's right, my whole life is depressing. 

                                                                                        ~

Today is the first day of halfway through the school year. What I didn't mention was that it is my first day of halfway through the school year at a new school. You see, since my mom died, and my dad was out of the picture, I've been jumping from foster home to foster home until I turn eighteen. Once I'm eighteen I can get an apartment, or stay with a friend that has an apartment. 

                                                                                        ~

As I walk through the crowded halls of an unfamiliar school, I can't help myself from checking out all the different cliques. You've got your classic group of band kids, you know, the ones that dress a little funky, but hey, no judgment from me. Then you've got your straight out of a movie "popular kids". Here's the difference between "popular" and "popular", one of them is that group of kids that think so highly of themselves, the ones that vape, and think drugs are cool, the ones that are always saying "I love you" within the first two seconds of dating, the ones that are always gossiping behind their "friends" back; And then you have the actually popular kids. They are genuinely kind and funny, and for some reason, they are fucking gorgeous. Even if you're not friends with them, they still invite you to do things, they still talk to you, they don't give you the stink eye. That's the difference.

In the middle of taking in all the cliques, the five-minute bell rings through the hallways which are almost empty by now, I go to find my locker. 312, 313, 314, 315..! Found it. While I'm putting in my locker combo, I can feel a pair of eyes burning through the back of my head. I quickly turn around to yell at the person staring at me, but instead, my breath stops, my heart stops, literally everything stops. I'm staring at the most gorgeous man I've ever seen in my life. I realize that I've been staring for about as long as he had been, and I scramble to find words.