A 1000 Times (dreamxreader)

chapter ten

⚠️TW: Drinking⚠️
A/N: i just realized that i never put a tw! my bad guys! writing the next chapter right now!

Y/n's POV
The air didn't feel the same. Maybe it was because her words hadn't seem to fade from it or maybe it was because the weather had started to cool down. It was September and the summer had started to tapper out. Weeks have gone by since I last spoke to my mother. Since she shot her cruelty at me in words she will never be able to take back. They cut deeper than she knows.

Abby laid on the couch as the movie played on in the background. Her legs were draped over my lap and her eyes were closed. I softly placed her legs on to the couch and quietly made my way to the stairs.

I've been sleeping even worse. I get four hours at the max.

I walk over to the freezer and pull out the bottle of Titos that sits in there. The glass feels frigid and heavy in my hands but I don't put it down. I silently open the window and step onto the cold concrete balcony. My legs thank me for sitting down in the old chair.

The first swallow burns, but then the old feeling of emptiness comes back. The numbness begins to comforts me as I take another drink, and another, and another. Soon enough the amount I've drunk begins to blur together with the time that has passed.

My phone buzzes which causes me to see the time. 4:32 am. I ignore the notification from the name that brings unease.

Creaking of the window behind me startled me. "Shit! Gosh Clay."

"Hi." Though it was dark, the street lights illuminated the balcony just enough. I could see his eyes and the shadows of his face.

"Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" My question comes off ruder than I mean it too. I can hear my words slurring as I speak.

"Are we seriously having this conversation again? And don't act like I haven't noticed how exhausted you've been lately." He sounded frustrated but more concerned. "You've looked like a ghost of yourself recently." His eyes wander to the lack of liquid in the bottle.

"I wonder why. And why do you care?" I can't help but wish my words would push him away. That they would make him turn around and leave me to myself. But, he takes a step towards me and the weight of the glass leaves my hand. I look up at him with anger. Then sadness. Finally, tears begin to form.

"My darling, you know why. You are drunk and not thinking clearly. Your words will not make me leave you." He's crouched down so he's eye level with me.

"Why not? Shouldn't you just leave now? We aren't going to be in this bubble of an apartment forever. You live in Florida and my job is to never get too comfortable." I raised my voice.

"How are we supposed to get to the point where that's a problem if you won't even talk to me?" He kept calm and collected.

"You want me to talk to you? Fine." I felt my lip begin to quiver and hands shake more furiously. "She doesn't want me. She's never wanted me. Whenever it was us alone in the house and we would get in an argument, she would say how she wanted another boy. That I was a mistake and she only kept me because of my dad. When he died she quit trying with me." And suddenly I'm not in control of my body. I'm stuttering though my sobs.

"I used to leave the house at eleven every night and I wouldn't get back till seven in the morning. She would always be making breakfast when I walked in." My head rested in my hands. My chest fell up and down quickly as my body refused to take in a full breath. "No words were spoken. No questions asked. No 'Are you okay?' No 'Where the hell were you?' None of it."

"Oh my. Okay here we go," he grabbed my hands and helped me to my feet. He was a bit more than a foot away from me. "You are worth more than she has ever said. You are kind, compassionate, and intelligent. You are relentless and courageous. You are perfect."

His arms wrapped around me and pulled me in. I rested my cheek against his chest and leaned into his embrace. My arms were around his torso as my hands began to clutch the back of his sweatshirt. My body shook as I continued to cry into his chest.

"It's going to be okay. I've got you. I'm here. Nothing will hurt you now. You're going to be okay." His chin rested on top of my head as he whispered. "Let's get you to bed. Come on."

He climbed through the window first before holding out his hand for me.

The stairs were the worst part. He was behind me making sure I didn't fall and I had one hand on each railing. When we finally got to the top I went to sit back on the couch but instead he took my hand and guided me to his room.

"Go ahead. I won't be in here. I'm not tired and I have a video to edit." He threw the covers down to the end of the bed.

I climbed in and laid on my side facing him. My eyes followed his movements as he began to bring the cover back up to my shoulders I stopped him. "Clay?"

"Yes?" His green eyes were once again staring back into mine.

"Will you stay?"

"Oh. Um, sure. Is it okay if I take my shirt off?"

"Yeah."

I made room in the bed and rolled over to the other side. I heard rustling before I felt the bed dip beside me. I rolled back over to see him laying on his back looking at the ceiling.

My eyes scanned over his features and down to his shirtless chest. I saw a tattoo I hadn't noticed before. I couldn't read it in the lighting but I made a mental note praying that I would at least remember this in the morning.

"Enjoying the view?" He rolled over so that we were face to face.

"Yes." I smiled at him and blushed.

Before I knew it he had an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. "Is this okay?"

"Yes."

My eyes began to feel heavy and my mind empty.

A/N: sorry this chapter is on the shorter side more to come soon!