Ben
I was pretty drunk by this point, and I felt good. I smoked a joint as I looked at my drawing. I had the sketching done and notes down.
Lylah walked in, "Ben, you here?".
"Yeah. I'm here".
Lylah opened the door, "Oh god I'm gonna smell like weed when I go to work now".
I smirked.
"What's the sketch for?" She asked.
"Apathy".
Lylah took a second, "What about it?".
"Our theme for art this week".
"Huh," Lylah looked at the sketch, "Is that you?".
"I don't know. It's someone".
She smiled, "Well, it looks great buddy".
"I'll see you later?" I looked at her.
Lylah nodded, "I just wanted to bring you dinner. I love you".
I kissed her.
"You're drunk, aren't you?".
I smirked, "A little".
Lylah patted my shoulder, "I'll see you later".
Lylah left. I waited a bit until she was gone, then I went to the gym. I spend a couple hours while Lylah is there. I started getting muscles, so it takes away from the skinniness of me.
It helps me let some of the anger.
It distracts me. Besides alcohol, it's the only thing that helps. My art really puts me in that feeling, so it makes it difficult. I find myself really exhausted feeling those emotions in art. I've debated if it's good for me, but it makes them think I'm okay. I am... I think.
I have to cross a bridge to get to the gym I go to. Every time I come back late, I stand by the ledge. I smoke a cigarette, rest my arms on the ledge. It's a nice one to sit on, thick cement bars. It's basically one long bench. At night there's never any cars crossing it. I've never seen one go over it past 10.
Every time I sit on it, I really want to just slip off.
I finished my workout and went to shower. I grabbed everything from my locker and got ready to leave.
Jess
"Ava and Juli are coming back soon. Wanna come welcome them back?".
Ben
"They want me there?".
Jess
"Ty's been visiting her, helping her with school. She's pretty angry. Might be a good opportunity to apologize for telling them mom died".
Ben
"Fuck you Jess".
Jess
"Love you too".
Ben
"No seriously, fuck you. I'll come over just for Ava and Juli".
Jess left me on read. I started my walk to the house. The gym was about half way between my house and Jess's house.
For Aaron
Start from the beginning
