After the Dance

Amberley looked happy climbing into the car.

Mom was relieved, she had been worried about Amberley's first dance. Amberley was introverted and tended to not want to leave the house when she didn't have to go. Mom knew Amberley had a close circle of friends who supported her and seemed close but, it was still surprising when Amberley announced she wanted to go to the dance. It had been a rough couple of years, Mom still didn't know what was happening but knew something was up. In the past few years her daughter had lost her spark. She had gone from an adventurous, confident, talented, caring individual to someone who seemed so unsure of herself. Amberley was fiercely protective of her the people close to her but she never seemed to see her good qualities anymore. When Lee insisted she wanted to go to the dance, Mom was happy and nervous at the same time. It seemed like a spark of the old Amberley was there but mom worried she would revert to wall flower status at the dance. So they shopped for the perfect dress and it felt like fun Mom and daughter bonding time. It was nice to see some of the old Amberley back.

Getting into the car, Lee knew the questions would start coming soon. It would start off with casual questions meant to gage her mood. Things like did you see your friends (Yes)? Did you dance? (Yes, almost all the dances). Those were the easy questions the next question would be harder. Lee still hadn't decided if she would answer the question honestly or evasively. Lee wasn't sure she was ready to revel too much of herself to her parents. She wasn't sure how her parents would react. Lee believed her parents loved her but she had never tested their love. She had always tried to be the perfect daughter. If Lee was honest with herself, there was a little fear that if her parents knew everything maybe they wouldn't love her as much. Maybe they would outright reject her. She didn't think that would happen but at the same time she had heard stories that made her question her place in her family.

"Amberley, did you have fun at the dance?" Mom hesitantly asked as soon as they drove away from the school. Mom never was sure how much to press Amberley.

Lee cringed inside a little, Mom insisted on caller her Amberley even though to everyone outside the family she was Lee. But that would be a conversation for another time. Lee wasn't sure where this one was going and didn't want to open too many cans of worms on a night that had been as magical as this one had been.

"Yes, Mom" responded Lee, who still wasn't sure how much she wanted Mom and Dad to know. Dad was sitting there quietly driving. Mom was always the curious one. Maybe that was for the best, it might be easier to talk to them if she didn't have to actually see their faces. It seemed easier to talk to the back of their heads.

"Did you see your friends?" Mom asked sounding hopeful.

"Most of them were there." Came the reply back.

Mom grinned a little, knowing her daughter was being a little evasive. Mom worked on containing her excitement as she pondered if she should ask Amberley more questions or just be happy to know her daughter had a good time. Mom was curious. So she hesitantly decided to push for more information.

"Did you dance with anyone?"

Lee also hesitated not sure how far she much information she wanted her parents to know. She settled something noncommittal and said "Yes, I mainly danced with my friends."

"Ohh, like the group of you danced together?" Mom responded seeking clarification. Perhaps Mom sensed there was more to the story. Dad just kept driving and quietly listening.

"Actually, I mostly danced with Ryan." replied Lee as she waited for her parents to react to this little bit of information.

Mom thought for a moment, trying to recall who Ryan was. Lee knew her father would have no idea who she was talking about since he rarely kept track of her friends.

After a moment, Mom responded with "Is that the girl from your history class?" Thinking nothing was wrong with 2 girls dancing together. It was something that was common when Mom was younger. A group of girls or friends dancing together having fun because they hadn't paired off yet. It was a good way to have fun and Mom was glad that Amberley had a group she could let loose with.

"Yes, Mom" came the reply.

Lee decided to press a little more and informed her parents, "We even danced a couple of slow dances together."

Mom wasn't sure how to respond to this latest bit of information. She loved her daughter but wasn't sure what Amberley was actually telling them though she suspected something. Mom wasn't sure she wanted to push the matter any further.

When neither of her parents said anything, Lee took the moment to press a little more and informed them that at the dance Ryan had mentioned she wanted to ask Lee to the dance as a date but was afraid Lee might reject her.

Mom realizing that this conversation needed to continue if she was to understand her daughter, cautiously responded to the information by asking how Amberley would have felt if Ryan had asked her to the dance as date.

Lee replied that she would have said yes to going as Ryan's date.

Mom decided to be straight forward and ask, "Amberley are you gay?"

Lee responded by telling her parents she was Bisexual.

Dad continued to say nothing as Mom's heart dropped a little not sure what to do with the news.

Mom, trying to keep her voice neutral, then asked, "Are you sure?"

Lee responded quietly, "Yes Mom I am sure."

"But how do you know?" asked Mom still not wanting to believe this was happening. Hoping that maybe Amberley was just flattered that Ryan had wanted to ask her out.

"Because, I there have been boys I found myself attracted to and girls I have found myself attracted to" Lee responded patiently. Quietly, waiting to hear how her parents would handle the news as her heart pounded in her chest. Would her parents still love her, or would they reject her now that they were starting to find out who she really was.

"How long have you known?" Asked Mom softly.

"Since 6th grade" responded Lee "At least, that was when I became sure. I am not sure when I began realizing I wasn't like most of the girls around me."

Mom responded, "We love you, Amberley, and just want you to be happy." While at the same time trying to hide how hurt she was that Amberley had known for a few years and she had been unaware of all this going on her in daughter's life.

Dad reassured Amberley that he loved her and that had not changed.

Mom wanted to stop the car so she could hug Amberley and reassure her that everything her she was alright, but hugs could wait till they got home.

Each person was left to their own thoughts.

Part of Mom hoped this was a phase Amberley was going through. But deep-down Mom knew this was who her daughter was. She loved her daughter with all her heart and would do anything to make the world a better place for her. But Mom's heart was also breaking because she knew how cruel people could be to people in the LGBTQ+ community. Mom did not want that for her child. She wanted her child to be accepted for the amazing person she was and not face labels and ridicule. There would be more conversations in the future as Mom tried to understand Amberley but for now there was acceptance.

Lee felt some relief. She knew there would be more questions and other conversations. This was just a starting point, and no one was sure how it would end. For now, her parents were accepting her for who she was, she no longer felt she needed to hide that part of herself from them. The discussion on pronouns would come later. Lee knew this was just one of the hurdles she needed to jump as she allowed other to see her true self.

At the same time Lee felt sad. It didn't seem fair that she had to "come out" to her parents when the straight world just cruised along. She knew her brother had never had a conversation with her parents telling them he liked girls. Why should people like her have to "come out" There was nothing unnatural about who she was attracted to. But this was who she was. She could ignore her true safe and try to pretend to be someone she was not or face the world knowing who she was and not letting other people tell her differently.