Pursuit of the Whole

XLVIII. Peeing in a Bottle

"Oh. No. No. Honey, don't say that. It's not your fault," mom cooed at him.

I got off my chair and walked towards Kai. "Look at me," I said. When he refused to look at me, I carried him off the chair and had him stand in front of me. "It's not your fault." I hold his clenched hands. It's shaking. "Whatever happened is not your fault."

His teary eyes flicker towards me.

"You're a good boy Kai. I want you to remember that."

The tears drip down.

"And...And...no matter what happens, we'll be here for you."

More tears.

"Because we're family."

"F-Family?"

"Yes. We're family."

Kai looks at dad and then mom. They gave him a soft smile.

"Family," he said before he hugs me.

It was a nice hug - warm and comforting.

After dinner, I somehow found myself in my bedroom. My parents talked to us earlier. They said they will keep quiet for now, but they'll use all their connections to help Kai stay when the times come.

My phone buzzed, and I answered it. "Hello?"

"Miss Julia. We would like to inform you that the money has been deposited into your account."

"Thank you." The call ends, and my body flops onto the bed.

The evening tea with Rosalina's dad didn't end on a good note - at least on my end. He made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

I covered my face with my hands.

Ten years ago, my dad killed someone...because of me.

Do I feel bad for the man?

No. Absolutely not. I hope he rots in hell.

"Honey." Dad knocks against the door. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

He sat down beside me, "Is...umm...everything okay?"

I swallow, "Y-Yeah. It's just...sometimes...its-"

Dad places a hand on my stomach and pat lightly, "It's okay," he said. "You can tell me anything."

Sometimes, it gets difficult to look at my parents in the eyes. It gets even harder during happy times - holidays and birthdays are unbearable. Whenever they look at me, the guilt is apparent.

"You know I would do anything for you."

The horrific truth.

There are moments when a child would question whether or not their parents would really do anything for them. But, not me, because I know they would do anything to protect me.

I bit my lower lip and hugged my dad. "You shouldn't have."

He chuckles, "Shouldn't have what?" His hand pats my back steadily.

I held his left hand, "Dirty your hands."

When he didn't respond, I knew he was in deep thoughts. I can only imagine what's swirling inside his mind.

Does she know?

It's not possible.

No one would know.

Then again, my daughter had always been smarter than the average person.

"I know," I said softly.