FANFICTION Insight 1: The Ferris Wheel - Torn apart connected (Main Story) -

Scene 6 You're jealous

A smiling Sam next to a crossed-armed Yu. While Sam's warm charisma will melt all the fans, Yu's pointedly drawn-together eyebrows reinforce his steely coldness.

"Have fun you guys!" the vendor calls after them as the wheel slowly begins to move.

Sam feels the tingle in his stomach and murmurs to Yu, "We'll have that."

Yu's lack of response irritates him only slightly. Sam is just a man. A man who assumes that his love, even another man, will just openly show what is. This moment can not be burdened.

He's riding with his Yu Ferris wheel now.
There is nothing more and nothing less.

Yu sees the surroundings slowly moving away. He rises into the air.

And gets lost. Sees everything fading away.

And then there's Sam. Way too close. He climbs into the air with him.

"I haven't ridden a Ferris wheel since I was a kid," Sam recalls.

"You've dated in a cabin like that, haven't you?", Sam overcomes Yu's lack of response.

"I have.", Yu replies. And smiles after pondering for a moment.

Now Sam doesn't want that.
Doesn't want to dislike that smile.

"Why are you smiling? What do you remember?" asks Sam, openly able to express his feelings.

"The moment when the first step happens is just to smile. I love moments like that.", Yu replies, knowing his answer will attract more questions.

Sam's gaze shows a change. As if all colors are fading. Losing their pigments.

"Did you make the first move?" he asks quietly.

"Never!" points out Yu, grinning, "They always took that first sweet moment. They just couldn't wait for me to make it anymore," Yu now laughs up. "Why do men always have to make the first move?", Yu asks rhetorically.

Sam's expression darkens.

The Ferris wheel has now passed the peak and stands for enjoying the view for a while.

"You are annoying!" says Sam out of nowhere to Yu.
"You have to show your love to the other person, don't you!" hisses out of Sam.

"Yes, you have to show your love to many. Love is just an abstract word. Anyone can sow it and anyone can reap it!!!", Yu replies in a bitter tone.

Sam is annoyed. He can't keep his feelings apart anymore.
He is angry. Only at whom or what, he can't explain yet.

"What are you trying to say?" he asks Yu, "Can you also communicate in a way that people can understand you?"

And Sam knows he's poking at Yu's weak spot.
And he can't help it.
Yu poked his weak spot first.

And now Sam expects silence.

Not one of the nice kind.

Yu obviously looks pissed off.

And Sam senses a sadness behind the defiance.

"Yang Yu Teng, tell me what's going on!" demands Sam insistently, just as the Ferris wheel starts moving again.

They descend toward the masses.

"I don't want this!", Yu gives forcefully in reply.

Sam's glowing eyes demand no spoken sentences.

"Sam, this is too much for me. I can't take this. I don't want this.", Yu tries to open up and is interrupted by Sam's loud voice.

"What, Yu? What don't you want? Say it!", Sam raises his voice.

Yu has to collect himself to find the right words.

Meanwhile, they are back to the ground and being photographed by their fan. A watchful fan, documenting every turn of their cycle.

Photo 2 in the photo series shows a clear distance between SamYu. Sam is looking down at the floor. His knuckles deposit white spots on his clenched fists.

Yu looks away into the crowds. He peers through them. One hand holds onto the back of his neck, the other grips his stomach. He try to calm down.

As the wheel slowly rises again, Yu decides to play with open cards.

"Before, there was only one person I envied. Who I suffered from. Who caused me sleepless nights.", Yu explains himself, "This feeling was bad enough. And I didn't even have the right to feel that way."

Sam listens with all his might.

Every word from his Yu wants him to understand.

And he tries hard. But he can't manage to string the words together.

To interpret their content.

"Yu, please speak to me more concretely. I can't muster enough patience in my current state," Sam growls.

"You were taken from the beginning and then I realized that I care," Yu reveals himself and Sam can't suppress his smile.

"But I don't want that!", Yu suddenly shouts, "Now it's just everyone. Everyone else. Everyone in the past, in the present, in the future. Everything is suffocating me. I can't stand this! I don't want this!"

Sam's smile doesn't fade.

"You mean you're jealous.", Sam sums it all up briefly, earning an indignant, angry look from Yu.

"I have no idea what that is. Or what it's called. I just don't want that feeling!", Yu counters proudly.

"You want me to describe the feeling to you?" asks Sam, approaching Yu menacingly. His gaze is steady and serious.

Yu feels the urge to push Sam away. And that is exactly the reason for Sam's anger. Finally, he can grasp it.

Yu pushes him away and it infuriates him.

"Do you want me to tell you about my first moments? How sweet they were? How much I loved them?" asks Sam harshly, "Should I? Do you want me to smile and remember back then? You mean that feeling?" he barks at Yu.

And that's exactly what Yu needed right now.

"Should I tell you about how I was constantly grabbing others sometimes lovingly sometimes hard? Played passionate scenes with them? That there's visible chemistry with others?" hisses Yu, making Sam wonder.

"What are you talking about?", Sam wants to start and is loudly interrupted by Yu:

"I'm just talking about everything. I can't stand anyone. No stories, no play partners, no fucking fans that adore you!", Yu yells and manages to yell after it with even more emphasis,

"And your I love you too makes me want to break!"

Both are glad to be floating in the air again. Their heart-cries resonate in the air and remain only in their memory.

"I'm breaking!" repeats Yu in a shaky voice, letting his tears break his dam.

Sam's heart tightens. He can feel it. Knows the taste of that despair. He approaches Yu and wants to hug him.

"Don't touch me!", Yu's voice rolls over. He shakes Sam's hands off his shoulders and pulls back further.

And again they stop in the same place. Just after the climax. A moment to let enjoy the sight.

But in the cabin, no one enjoys anything.

The painful sound of their hearts floats around SamYu and makes them pause.