my darling reader x crush (true story)

new kid..?

c/n = crush's name
y/n = your name
i use nonbinary pronouns so all of this will be they/them. this was also made at 1:48 a.m. because i cant sleep but this took some memory thinking so it made me tired lol. this is based on actually things so, yeah. if they see this, i f*cking love you darling <3
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you wake up from your alarm like any other day. you throw on your gray jacket, black sweatpants, and throw on some boots because you dont care anymore. you brush your hair because your grandma forces you to because she cares, then you grab your things and walk down the apartment steps. she always yells to you that she loves you and she hopes you have a good day. makes you smile, like every other time. sadly everyday is pretty gray anymore. your not okay to be honest and hate school because you talk to no one at all. you sit alone on the bus sleeping because your always tired now. you wake up and brush off the tiredness and hop off the bus, and take way to long to get to your class because you walk slow. you sit in your seat, forgetting this other boy who is known in the school to be gay sits at your lonely table now, for no reason ever. you dont say anything and set down your things like normal. 7:55 hits and the bell rings. its art class first hour so youre already working on your project. its a black and white drawing of your favorite charecter from your show. (for me its deku fron my hero academia LMAO) you hear the door open and look, this teacher is walking this cute kid to the teachers desk. "hey i like your hair.." that kid says, and you slightly blush under your mask and say "i like yours too". the teacher tells them they can sit anywhere. they look around, looks at you and at the teacher again. "you can sit with them since you guys seem to get along" the teacher says and so they sit right next to you. you look away and blush a lil and look at them again. you and them talk a bit before the gay kid starts to join in. you start to smile again, and its more than any other ones.. these people dont hate you! of course you have yet to understand your emotions because life said so, so you kinda might like this new kid a bit to much for just meeting them. like, their hair is so pretty and looks so soft. their eyes shine in the morning classroom light. they have the same clothing style as you too. just they are amazing honestly but goes slightly numb again after knowing you probably wont ever date them or anything. they say they used to go here before going to mental hospitals. scary.. then they show why. your vision goes blurry a bit and your mind spins a bit. you feel like throwing up. what the f*ck.. that could have been me.. they pull up their hoodie sleeve for hundreds of big bumpy scars down their arm. you wanna touch them. why? thats so messed up.. who hurt them that bad? they wouldnt deserve that. you wanna hug them, but coronavirus exists so you cant. its not that big of a deal why are you acting like this dumb y/n. they watch you work on your drawing and tell you its good. god why would someone do that to them? i gotta get over this, you think. okay anyways, you got very little done than normal.. talking really does slow you down hm? you walk them to their next class and tell them the classes and then realize they have been here before its just your dumb and forgot already and you cringe from your stupidity. you walk to science. so slow now. and quiet. everyone is talking. you miss them. is this what ive been missing? a.. friend? you never really had one exept that weird one from 3rd grade. you moved away from there though so, yeah things arent easy hm? friends are like, great, why cant i have more? real ones of course not fake ones. you had more than enough of those online. then to english, but you walk them to science. boring, boring, and more boring. you have social studies, they have math. then you go to the worst class of all, 'facs' (family and consumers science). the class isnt bad, just the teacher. she sucks a$$. but you have this class with THEM. but you dont sit close to them. d*mn. you do dumb sewing stuff alone again while watching them make more friends. how do they do it? talking to the popular girls.. that easy? i could never. f*ck. im getting jealous. what if they like each other? what if... what if this... what if that... i hate anxiety. i dont wanna think like this. bleh. once class ends you walk them to social studies and you go to english again because everyone has what is called pathways but has different teachers so yeah. boring.. boring... boring.... FINALLY all these boring classes are over? not all of them but most i guess. you walk then down to lunch with you, but you guys have assigned seats because of coronavirus, so you guys sit no where near. BORING. you get lunch, they get lunch, you watched them. good. but you eat little like normal. they call people out and i wait for them to leave and walk them back to class. they are pansexual? cool. maybe they could like me? no.. never. you walk to math and they have social studies. why do we have like hardly any classes together? ion get it. you guys have the last class seminar (my school calls it "melt" listen okay idk schools are weird.) you guys have the science teacher but yet again you guys dont sit close. damn. you got their email though, they dont have a phone so they email on their computer. the buses call and you walk them to their bus and you walk to yours. alone again hm? well im glad we can talk and they dont mind me right? you go home, things are dull again and you just do whatever your family tells you to do because you dont give a f*ck anymore. you wash the dishes, shower, eat dinner and lie in bed for hours till you go to bed at 10. what a day hm? stressful honestly, people are hard to deal with. i wonder how tomorrow is..