Lunch and come and gone before Jean knew it. The two of them had finished lunch in silence, mostly because Jean didn't know how to talk to Marco without it feeling like pity, and Jean knew Marco would never want his pity. Not for something like this.
"Let's get going, we all know that if you're late to class you'll get your ass handed to you by the teacher." Marco pushed himself up from the ground, gaze avoiding Jean as he headed towards the door.
It wasn't as if he didn't expect this response. Jean was never one to handle emotions or feelings well in general.
Marco felt like he should apologize, that adding his own emotions to the situation only made things worse. More difficult. But- at the same time Jean was so dense that if it wasn't for Marco being blunt he'd still be dancing around his own feelings.
And that was almost too painful to watch.
It was better like this. Marco would finally get some closure, and hopefully Jean would get the courage to confess to Eren. Either way, Marco would consider this progress.
For once.
"I-..yeah," Jean finally agreed with a nod and scrambled up to follow Marco put the door. He was too baffled to throw him a snarky response back; too confused with himself to even care.
So this is what love felt like? Was it always this painful? This intense? Did it always feel like he was drowning, gasping for air? He hoped not because there were moments. Small fractions in time where he was so overwhelmed with happiness that Jean felt like he didn't deserve it.
"Listen..Marco," Jean started as they headed down the stairs. "I want to thank you.. I can't..I don't think I should apologize for my feelings, but I do apologize for the fact that they aren't for you. You'll always be my closest friend."
Marco turned back and gave Jean a pained smile, nodding as he turned back to head towards their next class. "I know. I didn't tell you my feelings in hopes to be with you. I know your heart belongs to someone else. I told you because you need to find the confidence in yourself to tell Eren. You both are-.." Marco sighed and rubbed at his face, shaking his head.
"Just tell him. Believe me."
With that they came to their next class, Marco opening the door and heading in as if nothing ever happened.
Jean on the other hand felt overwhelmingly nervous, not sure how he could possibly face the rest of his friends and Eren know that he was completely aware of himself and his emotions.
"Jean? Can you go in? We're gonna be late."
Jean turned his head at Armin's voice, almost ready to apologize when he locked eyes with Eren who seemed overly flustered. Was he sick? Did something happen? And most importantly, why the hell did he care so much?
"Yeah yeah," Jean muttered as he walked in, feet carrying him directly to his desk as if his life depended on it. He refused to acknowledge the beating in his heart and the butterflies in his stomach.
Ah- so this is how it is.
———————————————————————————
Eren, to say the least, was left more flustered than anything else, green eyes purposely avoiding Jean's gaze as he walked in, finding his seat before shuffling in.
There was this underlying tension that he couldn't quite put his foot on. Was it because he was aware of Jean's feelings now? Had the tension always been there? Was he just noticing it now? There were so many questions with so many little answers.
He needed some air.
The air in the classroom was stale; stagnant as Eren focused on the book that was on his desk, not bothering to pay attention to his teacher as he let his mind run through the events of the day already.
Jean loved him. Not as a friend, not as a family. As a lover, and the thought would have brought the brunette to his knees if he wasn't sitting in his chair. And what had Armin meant? Was there something else that was taking Eren forever to notice?
Was it the beating of his own chest?
The fire that started in the pit of his stomach thinking about Jean loving him?
Maybe a mix of the two.
Maybe more.
"Eren. Hey...Eren!"
The voice snapped him out of his own thoughts, emerald eyes flickering up to find the host of the voice.
"Yes?"
Erens eyes met with Jeans, a somewhat annoyed and worried expression plastered across Jeans face as he looked down at him.
"Dude, class ended what the hell are you so focused on that you didn't hear the bell?"
Eren wondered for a quick moment how Jean could still act so normal. How did he not feel like Eren? Face flushed, eyes a bit wide. Was Jean supposed to feel like this too? Jean loved him, yet was pretending as if he didn't just confess his feelings with Marco.
And why did Eren care so much? If he had found out anyone else cared for him this way he wouldn't be reacting like this.
Oh.
So that's what Armin meant.
Eren wasn't completely sure, wasn't certain, but he had a pretty good indication as to why he was feeling like this. It was almost scary to think about because after all this time they had always been just friends.
And now?
Now it felt like they were in some kind of limbo.
"Are you going to answer me or not?"
Oh he hadn't answered Jean yet.
Shit.
"No Jean, I'm-I'm fine. Just not feeling me self, that's all."
Jean raised a brow as if he didn't believe a word Eren was saying, rolling his eyes as he. adjusted his backpack on his shoulder and turned to head out the door.
Eren was now left with the sudden realization that maybe Jean's feelings weren't unrequited, and maybe -just maybe- Eren had been in love with him this whole time.
