Build a Boyfriend

1

Drunk off his ass and extremely tired but not wanting to sleep alone...Childe had no other option but to surf the dark web. A pop-up ad appeared that made him laugh himself silly. He clicked on it and was taken to a website he'd only heard about from commercials briefly before. A few of his friends had made fun of it but he never really paid attention until now. He squinted, looking at everything, and was surprised to see how detailed it all was. 

"Build a boyfriend?" Childe snorted. "What, like a doll?" he cackled and started looking at everything, fully expecting whatever it was to be figure size...not human size. He neglected to read the massive text saying these were life-sized androids with artificial intelligence. 

"I don't know, the Morax series is pretty hot..." he muttered, face getting too close to the screen. "Agh," Childe sighed face planting into his pillow. He pushed his laptop away and groaned. "Well, if it's just a figure it can't hurt anything, right?" he convinced himself, looking at the personality options. 

"Wait, why do I need to pick his personality? Is there like an app or something where it talks to me?" Childe's drunk brain wasn't computing. "Whatever, I'll just make him completely different from my ex..." 

... a few weeks later, after he'd forgotten all about his purchase ...

"Who the hell got a package that big?" Childe tripped over the box in the hallway on his way to his apartment. His eyes were directly in front of the packaging label. "Wait a minute...this is for me?" He looked around and then stood up, opened his door, and dragged the box in. "What did I get that was so big?" Childe ran around his apartment looking for scissors and opened the box. Right in the center was a body- or what looked like one. 

"Oh fuck," Childe slapped a hand over his face to hide his own embarrassment. "Drunk past me is such an asshole. I thought this was supposed to be one of those anime things-" Realization hit him like a brick to the face. "Did I just buy a sex doll? How lonely am I?" he shed a tear. 

"His outfit is pretty nice though, lots of detail," Childe swatted away some of the packing peanuts and searched for an instruction manual. There wasn't one so he crossed his arms in front of the box and sighed. "How do I turn him on? Well, that's definitely a question I never thought I would ask myself." 

"Wait, if he is a robot...do I need to charge him first?" Childe tilted his head and thought about it. "Or maybe it's one of those sleeping beauty things?" he clapped his hands. Childe grabbed his phone and went back to the website (after he spent about 30 minutes trying to remember what it was called) and looked at the personality lore. 

"Morax series...uh..." he scrolled some more. "Model 3 boots up when coming into contact with...money? What kind of nonsense is that?" Childe got out his wallet which had a total of $3 in it and placed it on the android's face. There was some sort of small boot-up noise and his eyes fluttered open. Childe couldn't see it because of the wallet but the android sat up. 

"Oh my god!" Childe scooted back, not mentally prepared for him to move. 

"Technically, yes. I am one of the Geo God series," he spoke. 

"You talk?" Childe gasped, jaw-dropping. 

"Customizable options are still available, feel free to make requests as you wish." He placed his hand over his chest and bowed slightly. 

"What is your name?" 

The android placed his hand over his chin and looked to the side, as if he was deep in thought, "I've gone by many names but you may call me Zhongli." He lowered his hand and held it out to Childe. "What is the name you will be signing the contract under?" a small light emitted from his hand to reveal a hologram of a contract. 

"Contract? Oh! Right, you're supposed to be the god of contracts or something..." Childe leaned forward to read it but after about a paragraph in he got bored. After signing with his finger the hologram disappeared.  

"Tartaglia?" Zhongli verified. 

"No one calls me that but, yeah, that's my name..." Childe scratched the back of his neck and laughed awkwardly. Why was he feeling shy in front of a piece of metal?

Zhongli stood up and brushed off the packing peanuts. He stepped out of the box and offered his hand to help Childe up. He grabbed the hand, completely mesmerized by the handsome appearance. He was surprised that his hand felt so real. Pulling him up, Zhongli also pulled him forward, wrapping an arm around him for a hug. 

"W-what're you doing?" 

"I am powered by physical contact as I am meant to be a suitable lover." 

"L-lover?" 

"According to the contract, you may use me as you see fit, Tartaglia." 

"Use?" Childe looked up and down Zhongli's face, trying to figure him out but there were practically no expressions. Did that have something to do with the personality he'd chosen? Oh...right...the opposite of his ex would be: intelligent about random things, cold, calculating, and otherwise pretty emotionless. Someone that isn't easily approachable and thus no one would ever try to steal. 

"Am I not satisfactory?" Zhongli asked, moving his hand to Childe's face. 

"You're really cute," Childe admitted. 

"I am going to assume there is more to that sentence." Zhongli lowered his hand and took a step back. "Very well. There is nothing in the contract that states we must be sexually intimate. However, please keep in mind that I will power down without sufficient contact." 

"Well, I only have one bed so will sleeping be ok for that?" Zhongli nodded. "Then, do you need anything else? Are you okay with water? Do you need food?" Zhongli shook his head. 

"I only require a sufficient amount of physical contact from the contract holder." 

"Right, right," Childe laughed awkwardly.