Epiphany | Johanna Mason

Chapter Twelve

Of course it was true, but that didn't mean Johanna liked to be reminded of it. "I didn't fuck up. Why is that the first thing anyone thinks?"

"I don't know, you fuck up a lot?" He spoke as if it was simply known. A fact. Anger bubbled under her skin. She puffed out a breath, putting the glass down with more force than needed.

"Fuck you."

Again, he smiled. It seemed wrong in the conversation. Johanna couldn't explain why it mattered so much. It never had before. Except before, Odette had been the one constant. "See, if I was sensitive, you would have fucked up. But really, what happened?"

The worst part was, despite his teasing, Finnick really cared. He always did. "I don't know, she just got angry."

"She got angry?" he sounded surprised, placed his glass down, and stood a bit straighter.

Johanna barely believed it herself. She'd said mean shit to her over the years but had never been greeted by even a rude word from her. "Yeah."

"Didn't think she had it in her. Why did she get angry?"

Johanna sighed, taking another sip from her drink. She still didn't really know. "For some stupid reason, said I was angry at the wrong people or whatever."

"You should probably not say it was a stupid reason." He gave her a smile and Johanna rolled her eyes. She didn't mean to stare at Odette, but she was simply there, in line of her sight. Why would she look at anyone else?

"I know that," she snapped, suddenly needing fresh air. "It's just... Weird."

"What is?" The music was loud, their conversation had drowned out the Capitol people. She'd rather listen to them than have this conversation. Still, Johanna could not stop herself from telling the truth.

"Not... Having her around here. It's so... Quiet." It had the be the alcohol talking.

"Lonely?" He suggested, as if he'd ever been familiar with that feeling. As if he didn't have Mags and Annie and everyone who loved him.

She had to force the words out, would rather have kept them in. "I guess."

He was silent for a moment. The noise of the room slowly returned. The music, the talking, the scent of food and too much perfume and so much alcohol. "You could apologize. She's more than reasonable and totally has a soft spot for you."

Johanna scoffed again. "She doesn't, you idiot." Odette was like that with everyone. Johanna saw it in the way she laughed at Finnick's jokes, the way she held herself stronger than she was so Cecelia didn't worry. Even now, looking across the room, she saw that gentle softness as she spoke to Capitol people.

"Wouldn't say I'm the idiot here," Finnick mumbled, finishing his drink.

Johanna shoved him. He lost his balance for a moment. "Alright, enough advice. Fuck off."

"I'm serious! Just... You know, talk to her. Say sorry and try to mean it," he didn't join her at the table again, instead gave her what could pass for a casual grin before he waved at Coral and left Johanna alone.

She drank the last of her drink, involuntarily glancing back at Odette. The woman was pushing her strap back up, laughing at something that was said.

Johanna hated to admit it, but the situation affected her more than she wanted it to. Odette was an excellent buffer, though she wouldn't be reduced to just that. They only saw each other two weeks a year.

Maybe she would try and fix it if she knew how to. If it would be worth it. In two days, they'd be on the train back home. Next year, they would have forgotten the argument, and things would go back to normal. So Johanna left the table, just to be certain she wouldn't change her mind when she glanced up again.