I know you guys are tired of my poop jokes or me talking about feces in general. Even so, sexy people don't apologize which is why I won't.
Yes this is about poop but it's a real traumatizing event that happened on 5/30/2021. It's so scary I don't think I'll ever make a poop joke again.
I clogged my friends toilet yesterday, idk what happened but when I flushed, the toilet water just started rising and it wouldn't be as bad if I didn't fill that toilet with my diarrhea. The toilet basically looked like this:
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I messaged my friend and said "i'm sorry bro but i think i clogged your toilet". He said "lol nasty" like bruh you laughing now but you not gonna be laughing once that poop slushie I made start stinking up your house.
He said to use a plunger and unclog it. I didn't know how to use a bitching plunger but I wasn't about to invite my buddy inside and witness the atrocity I made in his bathroom. So I googled it and you know it didn't look that hard. I only looked at the images since YouTube tutorials are boring.
So I lifted the toilet lids and stared at the brown water, it's demon eyes stared back at me.
I positioned the plunger on top of the hole where all the poop and pee goes, the water rises a bit.
For more context, the water was a little above red line I drew here:
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So I shoved the plunger to make it do this:
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The plunger wasn't squishing, I wasn't strong. I wasn't smart. I wasn't worthy enough.
But you know me, I never back down from a challenge.
So I took the plunger away from the toilet hole and positioned myself. All it needed was some more kinetic energy and force right?
So with great strength I shoved that motherfucker in the toilet and the water went ape shit. It fucking spilled over.
And the plunger didn't even fucking squish down or anything.
I saw that there was some paper towels on top of their bathroom cabinet. The thing is with my little 5'2 goblin ass, I had to go rock climbing on their sink to reach the stupid ass paper towels. I also had to use my bare hands to clean my shit up (they didn't have gloves #sobbing)
At this time, the poop is stinking up the bathroom, my hands smell bad, the floor looks bad, the plunger is just swishing around in the poop slushie inside the toilet. It's a bad day so I started crying.
In the end I googled "what to do when your toilet is clogged and you don't have a plunger" and I saw you can put plastic wrap on top of the toilet, flush, and it'll go right back down.
I asked my buddy for his plastic wrap, as soon as he opens the bathroom door to give it to me he says, "your shit stinks and why are you crying"
The plastic wrap worked. I mopped his floor, threw out the majority of my clothes, and showered because I smelled like dysentery.
I know I sound calm writing this but my nose is full of snot right now. I cry easily when I'm stressed and even though a day has passed, the memory is fresh in my mind and I'm stressed tf out just thinking about it.
