~ mind escape

what broke me also made me fly.

If I were to be honest , a lot of things broke my heart. Broke me to a point where I just couldn't pick up the pieces and fix it. For a long long time I stayed that way.  Hurting and hopeless.. it pained me and everybody around me to see me like that. And when I thought it couldn't get any worse.. "boom" it got worse. Dragging me to a void where the only thing I felt was numb and paralyzed. I asked for help and my oh so loved ones tried so hard but that didn't work. Basically it's fair to say that I was doomed.

And I wish I could say that one fine day it all changed ...but it didn't. I didn't know I had it in me but I started mending. Bit by bit. I realized that I did have a choice and I had to choose what's right for me. My very first affirmation was that I will choose to me happy. And only by saying it to myself made me happy, made me stronger. And then it started happening.. it wasn't magic or pixie dust but it was like a wind ...no no it was like a breeze. It was calm and it was pleasant. And slowly I didn't feel anger or pain. It all faded away...

I learned a lot of things in that moment. Like I said earlier, I just had to choose. And I choose to be at peace. I choose to be happy. I choose to let go. I choose to be open. I am comfortable showing power and vulnerability. I choose to believe that my weaknesses don't make me weak. It only make me the person I am and I like the person I am. Letting my gaurd down give me the possibility to trust and love. It's scary too, but I know how to pick myself up. And I know how to be graceful while doing it. So it's ok even if I fall a little.

I am still healing and learning but I know a little better of how to take care of myself. I know that I have to get better ...n by that I mean even when I am not stuck in a hole. I know I will always be a better version of myself than I was yesterday. Always learning and growing and evolving.

"Yes a lot of things broke my heart, but it also fixed my vision." And with that I think I will survive. 🥀