[Spiderson Oneshots]

But The Stab Pun-

The image above ^^^^

- Irondad

- Spiderson

- no specific time period, i guess just... after civil war but before endgame?

Peter felt a searing pain shoot through his abdomen.

"Peter, it seems you have been stabbed by that robber holding a knife." Karen informed Peter through his suit.

"Y- yeah Karen, I figured." Peter grunted through the agony.

The teen gingerly picked himself up silently, quickly webbing up the unsuspecting attacker who turned his back thinking he had finished off Spiderman. Good thing this guy hadn't done his homework on Spiderman so he didn't know of the fast healing. He wasn't healed nearly enough to be okay, but it was enough to enable him to stand.

Peter limped over to the cashier of the convenience store, clutching his side as an attempt to soothe the pain to no avail.

"Are you okay, sir?" Peter asked the cashier and received a nod, "Okay, call the police to put this guy behind bars so that he doesn't go stabbing me or anyone else again."

The hero left the store, shooting a web up and swinging himself through the city he now knew like the back of his hand. On the way to his destination, Peter helped a lost boy get back to his house and got a cat out of a tree, stopped three drug deals, saved a boy from some bullies on the playground, and convinced a woman off a ledge thus stopping an attempted suicide. It's safe to say that today was on the more eventful side.

Peter released a sigh of relief as he saw the Avenger's Compound in the distance. Tonight's patrol had been an especially tiring, but that was probably because even though the bleeding stopped when he left the store, the wound immediately reopened the moment he began web-slinging and so he had been freely losing blood for the past few hours. The only thing keeping him going is the adrenaline coursing through his body.

He crashed through the conference room where the Avengers were having a meeting, rolling and then swiftly standing up. Not noticing the Avengers, Peter ripped his mask off to allow better breathing.

"Mr. Stark! I'm back from patrol, you won't believe what happened!" The boy exclaimed excitedly.

"Pete, I get you love your job, but I'm kind of in the middle of someth-" Tony tried to interject.

"I was doing my thing, like, web-slinging around town and stuff. Then i hear glass like, shattering and a scream, you know? I go and see what's going on, and do you know what was going on, Mr. Stark? Do you?" Peter continued rambling.

"Kid-"

"It was a robbery at a convenience store! I was like, 'Oh no, crime!' but then i was like, super excited because it's been a good three days since my last robbery and those are kinda fun to stop, you know, Mr. Stark?"

"Peter, I swear to god-"

"Nono, it was so cool, Mr. Stark! I webbed in there and he was all like, 'KNIFE TO MEET YOU' and he stabbed me and i was like, 'woahh!! Nice one!!' and th-"

"You weRE STABBED??!!"

"Well yeah but like hE MADE A PUN MR. STARK-"

Peter collapsed onto the glass-littered floor as the adrenaline had calmed itself back down.

"PETER!" Tony cried out, "Bruce, get medbay ready!"

Both Tony and Bruce rushed out of the room, with Peter being quickly but carefully taken to medbay in Tony's arms. The rest of the Avengers were left behind, clueless to what just happened.

Several seconds passed in dead silence.

"Are we all just gonna ignore that the spider guy from Germany just crashed through the window, accidentally revealing his identity to us as a teen, and then proceeded to pass out from what he said was a stab wound or..?" Clint broke the silence.

:DDD