Mad Alice Lane

Chapter Sixteen

Alice

I passed in and out of consciousness. Once, long enough to name my son, Joseph; another time to see Eliza at my bedside.

"Stay with us, Alice,"she pleaded."Don't leave me."

"Rebecca,"I whispered, my throat like sandpaper. "Joseph."

"I have them, Alice. We're looking after them."

"But, the cholera. In Bedern, but not here. You shouldn't be-"

"It came to Petergate a few days ago. It's spread to most of the city now. Once we heard that, and that you were sick, Thomas couldn't keep us away."

Knowing that, despite the cholera, my children were in safe hands, I allowed myself one more question before letting my dreams take me again, "Am I dying?"

"No, Alice."I heard. "We've got you. You're not going anywhere."

This time I woke to muffled sounds and Eliza was no longer at my bedside. I was feeling stronger, better. I hadn't vomited in several hours, nor did I lie in my own filth. I had been aware of sheets being changed and my body being sponged down, but knew only too well that my nurses must have been fighting a losing battle as far as cleanliness went. I was still too weak to move, but had somehow attracted the attention of someone in the room.

"Ma?"I said.

"Oh Alice. It's me. I'm here."

"Water,"is all I could manage. Very carefully a beaker was lowered to my mouth, and although much of the contents escaped over my face, it felt like a gift from God. My tongue felt large and ungainly in my mouth, and I struggled to swallow. Finally, despite my thirst having been far from sated, I found the energy to speak once more.

"What happened?"

"Cholera is what happened. That filthy pestilence came. I thought I was going to lose you, my baby."

Her words brought a jolt of memories flooding through my head.

"My babies?"Ma looks away from me. "My babies?"I cried."What of Rebecca and Joseph?"

"Eliza is taking care of Joseph."

"And Rebecca?"

"She- she was taken from us yesterday."

"Taken from us? By the doctors? To the cholera hospital?"

"No, girl. She was in suffering, and God, in his kindness, released her from that."

Many people turn to God in times of distress; I find that I turn away. I had no use for Ma's platitudes, however kindly meant. My baby, my daughter, the child that was for me, had left this world before I had even got to know her. I cursed the man that brought sickness into this city.

"Can I see her?"

"You know that we must bury the dead before twelve hours have passed."

"She is gone?"

"Yes."

"But I didn't even get to say goodbye to her."If I had had any water left in my body, I would have wept. Instead, my tear ducts stung with unwept promise. "Where is she buried?"

"The cholera pit."

"Not in Holy Trinity?"

"Your Thomas wouldn't allow it."