Forever Young

Chapter 45

Benjamin walked beside me and Carlisle as we headed back into the house. He caught my arm as we were about to head in, and Carlisle turned to look at me. At my nod, my father smiled and walked in the house, allowing me a moment with Benjamin.

"I truly am sorry, Camellia," Benjamin reiterated. "I meant no offense- not through my words, nor through having you work with fire. I didn't mean for Carlisle to rebuke you. It must be difficult for you, being punished by your coven leader so openly."

That strange wording again- punished by a coven leader. He didn't see that Carlisle was trying to guide me in the right direction because he wanted what was best for me. Instead, he thought Carlisle was trying to humiliate me, to make an example of me in front of everyone. He didn't see a family- just a coven, with a stern vampire keeping track of everyone's conduct.

I shrugged, not sure how to address this incorrect way of thinking. "It's alright, Benjamin. It was my fault. Carlisle has told me not to do that before. And the smack wasn't so bad. It was just a warning. I sort of... got into trouble with Mama earlier. Before you got here. So I'm still sore from that, is all. It wasn't as bad as my reaction made it seem."

The words were embarrassing to say, but I really wanted him to see Carlisle the way that I did; I felt the need to defend my father from such cynical perspective.

My words seemed to have the opposite effect, though. "He allows Esme to punish you as well? I suppose she is his mate, but still... she's second in command. It's quite rare for discipline to be handed down through the ranks of a coven. Where would it end?"

"My Auntys and Uncles can, too," I added, wincing as I realized it was the wrong thing to say. 

Benjamin's expression was alarmed now as he looked at me. "That must be so, incredibly difficult for you," He said woefully. "The way the Cullens live is already so suffocating. And any time you step out of line...So many eyes, so many punishments-"

He trailed off, looking very sad for me.

I shook my head, feeling horrible. I had wanted to defend my family, and I was just making them look worse. "I love them," I mumbled quietly. "And they love me. They're never unfair. Just strict. Benjamin, don't you remember ever having a mother or father? Don't you remember what it was like?"

There was a strange look in his eyes- they clouded over for a second, traveling back to a different time, a different life- and then seemed to sharpen their focus on me. "Sometimes... I think I remember," He responded cryptically. "But... Camellia, answer me this. Is Carlisle ever harsh with you?"

After a moment of hesitation, I slowly responded, "He... sometimes is sort of harsh. If I do something very, very bad. But he's not... mean."

"Is he ever cruel with you?" Benjamin asked, clarifying what he meant. 

I immediately shook my head. "Never. Him and Mama are the nicest people I've ever met." Not that I had met that many people, but he didn't need to know that. "Benjamin, they're nice to me. And fair. And they hug me and take care of me and protect me. They're my family. I love them."

Benjamin sighed, looking upset for some reason. "Of course. And as I said, Camellia, I am sincerely sorry for implying otherwise. Go on inside, now."

"Yes, Sir," I whispered, wondering what I had said wrong. He looked at me, a breathy laugh escaping through his nose. I immediately realized what was amusing to him- someone who seemed so opposed to a hierarchy was probably not used to being called 'Sir'.

Lingering near the door, I turned to look at him. "You can come in. If you want. There's room."

He smiled at me. "Thank you, Camellia. I'll be in in a while. I'm not used to enclosed spaces, and I'd like a few minutes to prepare myself."