Pursuit of the Whole

XXXVI. Safe and Sound

When I finished showering, I could hear a sweet melody from Kai's room. Dad was hanging by the doorframe. When I inched closer, he placed a finger over his lips. I peek inside to see mom singing to Kai.

The longer I look at them, the warmer my chest feels. I remember when I was younger, mom would sing me to sleep whenever she's at home.

It was nice.

But, the older I got and the longer she spent away from home, the harder it got to hear her sing.

After the incident, she stopped singing entirely.

No.

There was a time when she sang before.

But, whenever she gets to that one part-

"Safe and sound-"

She would always stop singing.

Mom bit her lower lip, and her grip tightened on Kai's hand.

Dad's eyes cast to the carpet.

They're doing it again.

"You're in my arms," I sang.

When they look at me, I smile and continue singing. One step after another, I walk until I reach Kai's bed.

"Please, my child

Don't cry anymore."

I wipe away mom's tears.

It's difficult, and no amount of therapy could ever fix what happened.

But, we all know the past can't be changed.

After Kai fell asleep, we all went back to our bedrooms. After a few moments, I remember I left my phone inside Kai's bedroom.

I sneak into his room to grab my phone.

"Julia?"

I turn to see Kai lying in bed. He rubs his eyes.

"I forgot something. Go back to sleep." I pat his head.

Kai grabbed my sleeve, "Did something happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"You all look sad. Did something happen?"

"No. Nothing happened."

"You're lying." He's such a keen boy.

I exhaled softly before I sat down at the edge of his bed. "When I was younger," I said softly. "Something bad happened to me."

Kai took a few blinks, but he didn't respond.

"And mom and dad, they felt bad that they weren't there to protect me."

Kai's eyes cast down for a moment before it went back up, "Safe and sound?"

He's such a smart boy. "I wasn't safe and sound."

Kai nuzzles the blanket closer to himself, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." I tuck the long hair back, "It's the past. Right now, I'm safe and sound."

Kai takes a few blinks before his lips spread into a smile. He wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles close to it.

After Kai fell asleep, I went back to my bedroom only to hear a faint cry. It wasn't difficult to pinpoint the source of the tears.

"It's over now. It's all in the past," dad said softly. "You saw how she looked when she sang earlier. Remember how happy she looked."

I hid my hand behind my back, and my head rested against the wall.

"It's okay. She's safe now. We're doing a good job," he whispers.

Those words aren't only meant for my mom, but for him too.

No matter how many times I tell them I'm fine, they won't allow those words to sink into their hearts.

I released a light breath and made my way back into my bedroom. Once the door closes, I fall into bed. My hands hover over my face, and the tears sink.

It's one of those nights - a breakdown.

It's not foreign in my family.

Once in a while, we would have a breakdown because of something. It could be anything that reminds us of a once happy time in the past.

Tonight, it's the lullaby.

The lullaby reminds us of how my parents would always protect me.

They couldn't.

And maybe that's why they could take in Kai so easily.

It's not only because their precious daughter wants to rescue this unknown child.

It's also a chance for them to repent. To do what they couldn't have done before.

Kai's situation humorously parallels mine.

Someone knocks against my window. When I looked outside, I saw Marcelo. Quickly, I wipe away the tears and open the door.

Marcelo steps inside the room.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." I'm glad he didn't mention my red and teary eyes.

"Why?"

"The house is too loud right now."

I'm under the assumption he's talking about the lakehouse they're all staying at.

With all the obvious tension felt at school, I would be surprised if things are peaceful at the lakehouse.

"Can I stay here for a while?"