Inside my slightly chaotic head

A Relizeation

I was watching one of my favorite YouTubers, queer kiwi. She was talking about the women's body and how some dude made a tweet that was completely wrong. As I was watching, I started to feel gross about myself. I felt very dirty and ashamed that I was watching something that was talking about the womens body. See, when I was around 12, I found some rather...sexual websites. I will not name said websites because I'm uncomfortable with that. But I'm sure you can tell which ones I am talking about. Anyways, eventually my mom found out that I was watching these websites, and talked to me about it. At the end of the conversation, she said something like this.

"Kit, those websites are for men. Men should be watching those videos. Not you." 

This made me feel as though I had done something wrong. I also had to apologize to my dad for it. Now that I look back on it, I realize that I had nothing to be ashamed of. Of course, watching adult content on those sites is not very admirable, seeing as those videos are produced by company's who don't pay the people in them much at all, and don't treat people good at all. But that aside, why shouldn't girls be able to watch that and not feel ashamed, and someone's son is doing it, they are seen as hormonal boys and its normal. 

What I realized, is that people are taught that women's bodys are sexual from a very young age. These online websites are for adults. But kids are on them. And consuming the content that is being provided. This will 1. Cause these kids to think that women are only sexual beings, and 2. Misiforming kids about sex. I don't want to feel ashamed of looking at sexual things. I don't think anyone should be. 

That was my rant for the day. Hopefully you were somewhat interested in what I said. If you'd like to conversate about anything, I'd be happy to. This was kinda all over the place, but thats how I think. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great rest of your day/night.

-Kit