butterfly's repose ━━ remus lupin

𝐱𝐢. catchup

Those sounds. He keeps hearing those sounds.

Remus' ability to rid his mind of the horrible memories of his transformations has (until two nights ago) been his salvation during the school year but even with that technique, he would have remembered the shrieks and cries of some non-human creature that reminded him so much of his own. He wracked his brain over and over again searching for an answer that just would not come. The possibilities could be endless; there had to be several different explanations. And what were the consequences of these explanations? What did it mean for him? What is going on?

If Remus kept thinking at speeds like this, this early in the morning, in this much pain, Madam Pomfrey would hold him hostage for the rest of the school year.

Thankfully, if there is one thing that Remus Lupin is rather good at is not facing the facts. He is a smart kid, but he is also perfectly happy staying in denial about this entire situation, which is probably best, considering all of the theories he might have are just going to keep him up at night and that's the last thing he needs after a transformation. His friends should be visiting again soon to give him the work he missed yesterday and today anyhow.

One of the worst parts about being a werewolf in Remus' opinion ─ despite the obvious slight inconveniences ─ is missing out on his Wizarding School experiences.

You could argue that due to transformations only happening once a month, Remus doesn't miss out on that much but he has evidence to suggest otherwise. For example, the hospital wing is located in a prime spot for FOMO. When the bell rings signifying the beginning and the end of class, Remus never fails to hear the bustling outside of the closed double doors from where he lies all day in a hospital bed. It's usual day-to-day chatter, some yawns and groans of complaint about whatever homework they just got set (nothing special, essentially) but, for the few days before and after a full moon, Remus never gets to experience it. It sounds strange seeing as he has done that routine many times and still does do it, but the odd cackling laughter and the thought of the Great Hall at full capacity at lunch, with steaming hot piles of food and jokes being passed around the table, sometimes makes him really wish that he wasn't a fucking werewolf.

He didn't know how long Madam Pomfrey would be keeping him confined to this one hospital bed this time around but he just wished it would all be over soon.

Having lived like this since he was four years old, Remus has learned the best techniques for surviving Lycanthropy. One being: always look for the silver linings. And hearing the bell sound at the end of a lesson he wasn't in did have a silver lining. It meant that at least one of his friends would be heading over to the hospital wing to deliver their notes for him to copy.

James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had all since learned about Remus' condition and so have created an official schedule (with assistance from Madam Pomfrey) for who should be on delivery duty at what time on what days. Sometimes they didn't stick to it, which Remus liked because it usually meant that they all wanted to visit him together but still, the rest of the time, Remus still admired his friends' commitment to helping him around the clock.

The day before, his friends hadn't stuck to the usual schedule and had made an unexpected visit ─ Remus suspects it was because it was the first full moon of the school year ─ and those were his favourites. The times when he hadn't previously been looking forward to seeing them but saw them anyway. He truly was grateful for his friends sometimes.