By Order Of The Fucking Peaky Blinders

55 - The Diary

T. Langley

Throwing the book to the side Charlotte hugs her legs to her chest, hyperventilating and shaking. He was fucking crazy.

She was frozen in place, she couldn't move, she told herself she needed to drive, get home, but her body wouldn't comply, she sat curled up in the drivers seat, staring straight ahead.

Once again she felt violated. Taken advantage of. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, the cool breeze covering her skin in goosebumps.

"Hey, you aren't allowed to be in here" a voice speaks and she was still frozen, unable to move.

"Ma'am didn't you hear- Charlie?" Scudboat says, snapping his fingers infront of her face, but she didn't blink or look at him.

"Leah, what you doing 'ere?" Scudboat asks, "diary." She managed to get out, "why don't we get you out of the car? You're freezing" Scudboat says placing his hand on her forehead.

"Can't move." Charlie replies urging her body to start working with her, her legs slipping off the seat onto the floor of the car.

"Come here" Scudboat says offering his hand, which she shakily takes, jumping out of the car, almost face planting but he caught her.

"The diary, get it please" Charlotte speaks and he reaches across the car grabbing the book and getting the keys.

"There's likely to be someone at the betting den, come on." Scudboat says, watching as she walks beside him slowly and shakily. He didn't know what had happened, but it had to have been bad. She never got shaky, she always seemed to be built of steel.

"Anyone here?" Scudboat calls round the house, "Scudboat?" Harrison questions, "what are you doing here?" Ada asks as the two walk into the room.

"Found her sat frozen in her car, I think it's got something to do with this." Scudboat speaks holding the diary up.

"What is it?" Ada asks, and Scudboat looks at Charlie who nods, gesturing for him to hand it to Ada.

"Why do I feel like no one is going to enjoy what this says?" Ada states, "because you're smart" Charlotte replies.

-

"Where've you been? You left 8 hours ago, I've been scared fucking shitless." Isaiah exclaims as his wife walks into their living room.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Isaiah says standing noticing she was upset, pulling her into his arms, enjoying the feeling as she slowly melted against him, as he lead her to the couch pulling her sideways into his lap so her head was against his shoulder.

"A parcel arrived for me today at the Garrison. It was Theo's diary" Charlotte sighs.

"Theo's diary?" Isaiah repeats and she nods.
"What did it say?" He asks.

"That he used to break into my room and watch me sleep, that's not even the worse thing, and I've only read the first few pages. Isaiah he watched me sleep, and did stuff to himself whilst in my room." Charlie says vulnerably burying herself further into his chest as he processed this information.

His jaw tightened and fists clenched as the thought of the blonde touching his wife came to his mind and he did his best to keep his anger in as to not scare her more.

He wished he'd killed the fucker more painfully now. Made him plead for death as they'd done with Gavin.

"Come here." He says softly pulling her closer, "why me Isaiah?" Charlotte asks, "why you?" Isaiah repeats confused.

"Out of everyone, you chose the damaged goods, the heartless murderer, you chose the one that throws fucking rum bottles at your head because she can't control her flashbacks, worthless. Used." Charlotte says dropping her head.

"Char- love." Isaiah says softly lifting her head but she looks away.

"Charlotte, fucking look at me, now." Isaiah commands and she obeys, the intense gaze he had gave her butterflies, his hand still on her chin forcing her to look at him.

"That is not fucking true, that is complete utter bullshit. I chose you because if there was no you, there'd be no anyone. No one else does it for me love. I chose you because there were no other fucking options in my eyes, no one comes fucking close. You are not worthless. You are not damaged goods. You are not used. The flashbacks arent your fault. You are an intelligent, charismatic, hilarious, gorgeous woman. You are priceless. You are the best thing that's happened to me, to Diego, to your family. To our family. And I fucking hate those cunts for making you feel this way, if I could I'd kill those fuckers again, do it every day even more painfully for what they did. It's not your fault, you do know that?" Isaiah speaks, and she sighs.

"You think it's your fault? It's not your fault." Isaiah tells her, "but I kissed him" Charlie whispers, "a kiss isn't consent, a kiss doesn't mean you break into someone's fucking room. None of this, none of it is your fault. Damn those fuckers for what they've done." Isaiah replies.

"You still ask for consent, even when we are married, why?" Charlie asks, "just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're entitled to things like that, consent is still needed even if you are husband and wife, nowhere in that contract does it say one is entitled to the others body." Isaiah says.

"I don't want to read the rest," Charlotte tells him, as his hand rests against the side of her face his thumb caressing his cheek.

"Then you don't have to, and I won't if you don't want me to." Isaiah says, "no, if you want to read it, do it. The stuff I know so far just makes me physically sick." Charlie replies, leaning down to kiss him.

"They're dead. Fucking dead, and I'll kill anyone that even thinks about it." Isaiah tells her holding her head between his hands, brushing her hair out of her face.

"I trust you. I don't want anyone else to touch me, ever." She whispers in his ear, getting his hand and sliding it up her thigh, as her other undid her trousers.

"No one but you, I'm yours. All of me." Charlie says kissing him as his hand wiggled it's way into her trousers lifting her to pull them down.

"I've created a sex demon haven't I?" Isaiah chuckles as she begins to grind herself against his hand before he'd even had a chance to start her off himself.

"But you're mine. My fucking wife." Isaiah tells her, one hand fingering her, the other coming to choke her slightly as he connected their lips, "I'm going to make you cum all night long" he whispers against her lips and she nods.

"And I don't make vows I don't intend to keep." Isaiah says huskily, adding a third finger, watching in amusement as her eyes rolled back in her head.