Risking The Hate

Chapter 11:You must like me for me💋

"She is much better now. I guess time does heal some wounds. She smiles more."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?" I looked up.

Sarawat tilted his head and I could see he was worried. "How are you now? I am sure it was all very hard for you. And its not something most 16-year olds think they would have to do — Dealing with your dad's death and then suddenly taking care of your mother as her guardian."

I gulped down, staring at Sarawat. I had always told myself that I was a strong person, but hearing Sarawat speak out all of my struggles in a single breath made me realise that I was not in fact a strong person. I was just someone who was forced to pretend to be strong, because that was the only way I could get through.

"It was okay I guess."

That's all I said but then Sarawat puts his hand over mine and suddenly I could feel a flood of emotions passing through me.

"Tine, if something is hard, you can just say it was hard. We don't always have to pretend to be strong."

I stared at our intertwined hands and I finally spoke up. "It was a little hard, I guess. I didn't-- I didn't even have the time to grief dad's death until I was all alone in my college dorm in Bangkok —when I realised I only had his ring to remember. Now, I feel like the further I go away from home, the better it would be for me because somehow, everything reminds me of him now" I shook my head. "But I am sure Type had it worse."

"I am not trying to invalidate your brother's struggles, Tine. I am just trying to say, you were too young to handle all those things and you shouldn't invalidate everything that you went through."

I sat back in silence, not uttering another word, just feeling the warmth of Sarawat's hand over mine, which I wished I could hold all the damn time.

"You know Tine..." It was Sarawat who spoke up again. "I should actually meet Type and thank him. If he didn't push you to go to college in Bangkok, we would have never met." Sarawat was smiling at me and it felt like all of my troubles had suddenly vanished.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Type would absolutely hate you. He hates city people like you. In fact he has started to loathe me for turning into one of those city people too."

"I have a feeling that he would really like me." Sarawat smugly smiled.

"Your food, sir." The waiter came by the table again and I realised we were still holding hands. But just as I suddenly let go of Sarawat's hand, I accidentally banged into his knees.

"Ouch Tine!"

"I am sorry!"

We mostly ate the food just smiling at each other. No, Sarawat ate the food but I practically inhaled it all. I had skipped lunch and I hadn't even realised how hungry I was.

"Phukong was right, Wat. The steak is really nice."

"It is, isn't it? What should we order for dessert—"

"Tine Teepakorn?" I heard someone call out my name which made both Sarawat and I look up. It was Mil, our old college classmate.

"God, Mil, its so good to see you." I got up from the table to shake his hand.

"You too and—" Mil looked down at the table and seemed completely confused. "Sarawat? Its really you. Wow, I could have never guessed Tine and you were actually close. The college topper with the college slacker." He laughed. "But I guess weirder things have happened. Anyhow, its good to see you Sarawat."