𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 l ♡ mark lee

31.

it felt weird to be with him and hold back so much i wanted to say. i use to feel so free to talk about whatever around him.

the reality that i wanted to avoid, confronted me again. we were nothing more than project partners, it didn't feel right that he was in front of me and i couldn't treat him like my best friend. our "relationship" with each other was boiled down to almost nothing.

we weren't even friends, we were just classmates who only talked for the project, we were almost nothing to each other. i didn't know how to handle being nothing to him now. once i was everything to him, and once he was everything to me too.

i walked him to the front door after we finished. the sky was beginning to darken and my time with him was ending.

"get home safe."

he nodded and kept silent, again. he turned to leave and i moved to shut the door when he paused and turned back around.

"thank you, too" he mumbled with his eyes glued to the floor.

i furrowed my eyebrows, what was he thanking me for? i searched my mind a bit when it hit me. oh right, for proofreading his work.

"no problem, if you want me to review your work again let my know" i replied.

he snapped his eyes up to me and his face morphed into a confused look. he nodded in hesitation as a look of realization made it's way onto his face.

"yeah" he breathed out.

our eyes met and i couldn't help but breath out too. and we just stood there, in the comfort of each other's gazes. no matter how far we grow apart from each other, his eyes never let me go.

the stars were beginning to show themselves in the dim sky, but all i could see was him.

i grieved the loss of us. but nothings ever really gone.

"goodnight, mark." i spoke, still holding eye contact.

"night, annie." he stood there, not moving. we said our parting words but neither of us would part. i wanted him to leave first but he was waiting for me to do the same.

it was deja vu, who was going to be the first one to walk away.

the proximity between us and the intense gazes we had reminded me of our first kiss. we were pretending it didn't happen, but it was impossible to avoid the tension between us. my first kiss rested on his lips and mine did too. for a minute, it felt like we still had each other, even though we don't.

my eyes flickered to his lips, and back up to his eyes. those same eyes that were settling on my lips. i almost felt a magnetic pull. something in me was pushing me to step forward. getting so close to him now had me craving that feeling i had with him prior.

but a car pulling up to our driveway flashed their headlight our way. my eyes winced at the harsh light. it was my parents. we turned with squinted eyes to see who it was.

"mark? is that you?" my mom ran up to him. "we've missed you so much!" she ran to hug him which he returned sheepishly. he bowed and smiled politely.

"why haven't you been over lately?" my dad questioned. mark looked at me like he didn't know what to say. he also looked baffled that i didn't tell my parents that we weren't friends anymore.

i cleared my throat and signaled my dad with my eyes to drop the subject. he caught on, thankfully. mark greeted my parents and they invited him to stay for dinner. he declined and said he already ate. they entered the house and called me to come set the table.

"okay! i'll be there" i called out to them. "drive safe" i said parting words again, but stayed glued to my spot. he nodded and paused before speaking again.

"i know my assignment didn't take that long to proofread" his eyes had a glimmer of sincerity. "thank you" his mouth was open agape like he was going to say something more. he closed it as his eyes dropped to the ground.

and he walked away.

my eyes softened when i realized he was thanking me for stopping him from going somewhere dangerous, he knew i was stalling. my heart ached at the thought the he would have to do something risky that he didn't want to do.

the feeling of worry engulfed me. when you care about someone so deeply, the worry never really goes away. it's always at the side, or lingering at the back of your mind.

decades could be put between us and i think i would still have the natural instinct to care about him. in a way, he has an imprint on me that won't ever go away. ︎ ︎

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