“Todd, you haven’t said a word,” I stated.

“Neither have you,” he retorted.

I nodded. “Are you okay?”

“I’m great.”

That was the end of our conversation. His tone cut off any means of replying I might have had.

When we got back to the house, I found the place practically spotless. Ryan and Peter were in the yard picking up trash, and when I drove up they stopped and stared. Todd got out first and went to unbuckle Fee’s car seat. 

“It’s okay, Todd,” I told him, motioning for him to stop. “We’re about to head over to your house.”

“It’s an hour drive,” he replied.

“It’s fine. Get in the car.”

He did as he was told but didn’t look too happy about it. I approached Ryan and Peter wearily.

“Keep an eye on the kids,” I said.

“What’s going on, B?” Peter asked.

I shook my head, not bothering to answer. I walked through the front door and was tackled by Carly.

“B, are you okay? Is everything okay? What’s going on?”

I patted her on the back and sighed. “Carly, I will tell you later. I need to find Jon right now.”

“Backyard.”

Jon was on the back patio, picking up trash just like the other boys, when I found him. 

“Jon,” I said.

When his eyes landed on me, he ran to me immediately and embraced me. I buried my face in his neck, forcing down the sobs building up in my throat, and breathed in the smell of cologne on his shirt. He rubbed my back soothingly.

After a moment or two in his arms, I pulled back and forced a smile on my face. He wiped away tears I hadn’t realized I was shedding with his thumbs.

“What happened?” he asked.

I inhaled deeply and shook my head. “I need your help.”

“Anything,” he replied.

“Do you mind taking an hour long drive alone in your truck?”

~ ~ ~

When we arrived at my aunt and uncle’s home, everything felt…empty. The place was dark and the lights were off. It looked as though no one lived there.

Well, no one did…anymore.

We went in through the front door and the kids packed up all the stuff they thought they would need for an overnight stay. Well, Todd did. Fee just sat and played with her toys while I got Cole’s things together, then I laid him in the bed and surrounded him by pillows so that he wouldn’t roll out and began gathering Fee’s necessities. I found a plastic bin and a lid for all of her toys that she filled within minutes. 

Then she got in her bed and fell asleep, which didn’t do me very much good. I pulled a blanket over her small body and made sure the rail on the side of the bed was stable so that she wouldn’t fall out. Grabbing her bag, I went to the bathroom to get her toothbrush and everything. As I turned to reach under the sink, I noticed something white in the mirror. The envelope that Officer Darres had given me.

I reached behind me and pulled it out, unfolding it.

Beth. That’s all the front had written on it.

I flipped it over and undid the flap, unfolding the slip of paper as if it might break.

My sweet, vibrant Beth,

We were always so close. Up until you reached sixteen, we shared many secrets. I was more like your sister than your aunt, your equal than your elder. You have cared for my children on numerous occasions…I know you love them. I can see it in your eyes when you’re with them.

Your reading this means I’m gone. I’m sorry that you have to deal with the burden of this loss, but you also have a magnificent gain. You are now the mother of four.

This will be hard. I don’t know when this will happen, if it does, but I know this death will catch you at a young age. I write a new letter for you every two years or so, though there will hopefully be no reason to give it to you…

Anyways, that is unimportant, because you are reading this and I am gone. I leave my children in your hands. I wrote the first letter when you were sixteen, and now this when you are eighteen. If you see it, you are under twenty-two years of age. You have an amazing life ahead of you. I want you to live it. Go to college…or stay at college. Find true love. Party.

I leave you my home and belongings, except for those things in my will left for Eve, Todd, Fee, and the munchkin that is still in my tummy.

If it becomes too much to handle, you may consider leaving the children to your mom and dad. Of course, you do have that choice, but I’ve chosen you as their guardian for a reason: you know how I would want my children raised.

With love.

With honesty.

With understanding.

With trust.

Take care of my babies. Keep them safe; keep yourself safe. I do not want to see any of you soon!

I love you. All of you. Tell them that for me.

Always watching over you,

Dianne

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