His Own Battle

The War

Art credits go to CafeBrappe on Twitter//

The sound of gunshots and tank blasts rumbled through the air. The smell of gunpowder and blood was thick and heavy. Such was war, and Tankman was at the center of it all.

"Eat shit, numb-nuts!" He shouted jubilantly, blasting an enemy troop in the face with his shotgun. A nice sized hole in his head made the trespasser fall limp on the ground.

"Nice job, Captain!" Steve called out, giving his superior and best friend a thumbs up.

"Eh, I was aiming for his dick."
The black and white soldier shrugged, casually shooting another enemy that attempted to sneak up behind him.
"This boner is really throwing my game off I guess."

"You should really work on that, Captain. People are gonna start thinking you're some kind of gay."

"Well it's not my fault combat gets me all hot and heavy, Steve! Seeing some dipshit get a bullet lodged in his skull- It's really something special." Tankman tried to defend.
Truthfully, it wasn't his raging erection that was throwing him off, or even the beer he slugged down an hour earlier at Franks. No. It was his stomach, which at the moment, was quite upset.

His gut was absolutely fucking killing him. It could have been the chili fries or the greasy burger that did him in. Honestly, the booze probably contributed too, but the defender of Newgrounds really really had to fart. Normally, he would have let it out without shame, but this wasn't just gonna be your everyday toot. He could feel something nuclear approaching fast. Besides, knocking his men out during a battle wouldn't be ideal. He had to find an opening...Just to slip away for a few minutes, then he could get back to the killing.

Tankman looked around, finding a man behind a wall who was directly focused on him, ready to shoot. Well, he certainly couldn't leave with some rando glaring at him like that.
So he pulled out his trump card, the oldest trick in the book.
"Hey! Is that- Tom Cruise with his cock out over there?!" He shouted out, pointing behind the man.

The enemy quickly turned his attention away from Tankman, looking over to the supposed superstar. This gave the Captain just enough time the strike, firing a round through his chest.
"Ha. Gotcha, bitch. The famous celebrity with his cock out trick works every time." He gloated, sneaking away to let out some farts in peace.

His swollen tummy rumbled beneath his dark uniform, making him groan.
"Ugh...Fuck me sideways. This isn't gonna be pretty."
Tankman slipped away from the battle, finding a secluded area away from prying eyes to do his business. He looked around. A jankity old wooden fence in front of him, and some tires to the sides. No one was around, so he yanked down his pants.

Well...He thought no one was around anyway. Not anyone on the ground of course...but yards away, in a watchtower.

-

Skittles aimed his gun at the Captain, looking through the scope to get a better view.
"Take this, bitch- Have fun getting skull fucked with my bullet."
He clicked the gun, and put his finger on the trigger....But paused.
"What the?.."

-

Tankman placed a hand on the fence to steady himself, biting his lip. He could feel his tummy going wild, and he slipped a hand under his uniform to rub it. The flesh groaned and gurgled underneath his fingertips.
"Ugh..Damn burgers- And expired rations."
His poor diet choices were coming back to haunt him, and this was one spooky ass ghost.

Tankman squinted his covered eyes and pushed. His puckered hole twitched, and a bubbly bout of gas rumbled out of him.
"Ohh God damnit-"

-

Skittles felt his jaw drop open, barely able to breathe. What...What the Fuck was happening?! He tried to aim his gun, pointing it directly at the man's head. He could have blasted him right then and there, and that would be a huge dent in the enemys' forces... It was an opportune time, a perfect chance to eliminate him- But...

-

The Captain hunched over a bit, the sudden movement making even more fetid farts push out. Once the gas came, it didn't stop. If it wasn't coming in loud blasts, then a constant silent stream was flowing from his half open, quivering hole.
"It's starting to smell like a gamer's bedroom over here. Shit- Is that me?"

BuUUUuuUuurrRRAAAaaPPP

With each fart, the odor only got stronger. It was rancid, like a fine cup of milk left to sit on a windowsill for twenty or so years.
"Ugh-"
He recoiled a bit. Along with smelling like shit, the farts burned like a mother.
"S'coming out of me like lava."

-

The private couldn't shoot. The sight before him was just...too much to take in. He was dumbfounded. But even worse, was how stiff his pants were getting.
Skittles' hidden eyes widened, looking down between his legs. Sure enough, he was at 3/4 chub at least..This was concerning.

"What kinda voodoo sorcery is going on here?" He mumbled to himself, blushing. Skittles was having a bit of a personal crisis, but even so, he reached into his pants and started to palm himself.

"Ch-"
He sucked air in through his teeth. This was the quickest he had ever gotten hard before. It was pretty humiliating to say the least.

-

FFFFFfffFFffRRRrrRrrrRRrTTTttTT
BbbBBllrrrrRRtTT
RrrRRrrrRrrRRRrPPPppp

Tankman couldn't stop himself. The vicious onslaught just kept coming and coming. His ass was sore, a methane cloud was starting to form around him, but at least his swollen belly was going down. The more the winds came out, the deadlier they seemed to get. It was slowing down now, but near approaching the end, the farts were at their wettest.
The Captain just wanted this to be over. These weren't average farts you could rip around friends and laugh about. These noxious things were something else entirely.

He squatted, getting in a better position to finally end all this. More gas rocketed out, making the dirt below him blow around in a puff. He threw his head back, now finding this painful and excruciating sensation to be a bit...Euphoric in it's own way. All this pressure was being relieved from his poor tummy, and it felt a bit nice.

One last emission puttered out pitifully in a little bubble. His sore hole finally closed, before little drips and dribbled of sweat ran down his pale white cheeks. It was a bit of a scorcher that day, and the sun was beating down on the battlefield. Usually the heat didn't phase him, but all that strain was making every part of him hot and sticky.

Tankman sighed in relief, glad it was all over, and stood up. He pulled his pants up and fanned the area around his ass, not like it would make the smell go away at all though.
The Captain lit a cig, and smoked to gather his thoughts. He pressed the butt of it up against the fence to put it out.

"Well, that was fucking fart tastic..." He said sarcastically, walking away back to battle, as if nothing had happened.

-

Skittles sat on his tower, questioning his life. He looked at his splooge stained gloves with embarrassment, wiping them on his pants. He was done for the day, and decided to take a leave.

"I need a very cold shower."