Deep stuff

Love🥴

I heard that when you love someone you want to be close to them, both physically and mentally. Kinda odd no? I personally hate touchy people, I like my bubble to be free of people. I honestly hate people, there worse than animals. But then a person told me "If your feelings return for a person, that just means they never left. You were probably trying to suppress them. And from time to time you couldn't hold it and let surface."
I was surprised by this and asked why they told me this and they said because they can see that I was suppressing my feelings. I was obviously denying this at first until i saw him. When we made eye contact it felt like the world faded, i could count the seconds and it'd feel like hours, when in reality it was a brief moment. I realized what that meant so i tried my best again to suppress these silly emotions. During the entire time I gave multiple excuses to look at him. I even passed plates just to talk to him. But all of this properly made sense when we touched hands. It felt like fireworks in my heart, a sworn of butterflies in my stomach. All these emotions overwhelming me so i rush to the bathroom, only to see a blushing, sweating mess.

Love?
Why do we love?
What is love anyway?
Is it just a chemical reaction?
Or a simple lie we tell ourselves?
To be honest with you
I always hated love
The word alone
made me scrunch my nose

But if it's as simple as a chemical reaction or a little lie
Then why doesn't it fade yet
I always thought love led to
Disaster
Disaster led to trouble
Trouble led to struggle
Struggle led to hatred
Hatred led to sadness
Sadness led to death
But
What if there's a different path?
A path I'd rather not go?
A path filled of happiness?
But what if that happiness fades?
Will I stumble then?
Will i fall back into the other path?
All these doubts seem to fade
Sounding like voices under water
And all i can here is your voice
All i can see is your face
All i can smell is your scent
You extend your hand
For me to take
But I'm afraid
Afraid of the new path
But for you
I'm willing to take the risk
I'm willing to keep this lie going...