Lay A Glance On Me 1 (Lost and Retained #2)

Kabanata 28

''Lucy!'' he called me. I didn't turn. Alam ko namang nakasunod siya sa akin. ''Break time mo na? Saan tayo kakain?'' malambing niyang tanong habang sinusundan ako.

Hindi ko siya sinagot. 

''Nagpa-reserve ako ng lunch sa Cafe San Vicente. Kain tayo ro'n? May bacon akong pinaluto. Alam ko kasing favorite mo..'' aniya. He tried to touch my hand but I gave him a deadly look.

Unti-unti niyang binitawan ang kamay ko. Even when he look pained, he still tried to smile. ''Sorry..'' Napalunok siya't ngumiti. Iniwas ko ulit ang tingin. Kahit sa maliliit na bagay basta ay tungkol sa kan'ya, naaapektuhan ako. Hindi 'to pwede. ''Wala akong gagawin kaya, uhh, hihintayin na lang kita ro'n. Sabay tayong kumain, ha?''

My annoyance turned into pity when his usual rough gaze became soft and tender. But that wasn't enough for me to destroy the walls I built. Kahit anong subok niya, hindi magbabago ang isip kong bumalik sa kan'ya. Galit ako. Galit pa rin ako sa ginawa niya.

''I'll wait for you there..'' he added.

Umigting ang panga ko. ''Bahala ka. Hindi ako pupunta.''

Pagkatapos kong sabihin 'yon ay aamba sana siyang may sasabihin ulit ngunit tumalikod na ako. I don't want to give him hope that I would be back to him, run after him like what I used to do, and try to get his attention. Because I am over that.

I am over that. I will be over him.

Sinubukan ko siyang kalimutan sa isipan ko nang magkita kami nina Cy at Bea sa UN Square kung nasaan ang Bonchon. They were already talking when I went to enter. 

I don't know if it's because of the lost time Cyrille and I had, but seeing her now feels different knowing that we would talk again. Para bang may lamat na sa aming dalawa lalo na't alam ko kung bakit siya nagalit at umiwas sa 'kin.

''Yay! We're complete again!'' Bea clapped her hands. ''Si Stephen na lang ang kulang!''

Ngumuso ako at umupo. Cyrille then gave me small smile. Gano'n din ang ginawa ko. It feels awkward that she's right infront of me.

''Hi, Lucy..'' bati niya.

Ngumiti ako. For someone as responsive as me, I don't know how to answer her.

''Kumusta?'' sagot ko na lang. ''Palagi kitang nakikita sa hallway, pero parang ang tagal nating hindi nagkita.''

Nagpakawala ako ng tawa. It was awkward as hell that I could hear silence when I was laughing. Ganoon kalaki ang lamat namin ni Cy. The gap of the lost friendship.. is too huge that it is beyond repair.

''Lucy..'' She pouted, trying to reach my resting hand on the table. ''I'm sorry! Alam kong alam mo na nagalit ako sa 'yo.. na kahit sa papers natin ay pinersonal kita. I'm sorry!''

''It's fine..'' I swallowed hard, hindi talaga ako sanay na makipag-plastikan. ''I know you like Javier so much.. that's why I didn't entertain him. Alam mo namang si Jarrell ang gusto ko dati, 'di ba?''

She bit her lips. ''Oo..''

I nodded. ''Right.. That's why I was disappointed.. Kasi dahil lang sa lalaki, nagka-away tayo. Ni pagpansin nga kay Javier ay hindi ko ginawa bilang pag-respeto sa 'yo at sa nararamdaman mo, e. Too bad it became an issue to us.''

She bowed her head. Somehow, I felt relieved that I told her what I feel. Kasi totoo naman! Hindi ko gusto 'yung gunggong na 'yon. Alam ng lahat, kahit miski taga ibang university, kung sino ang gusto ko dati.

At ang masama pa ro'n, para bang hindi ako pinagkatiwalaan ni Cyrille sa pag-handle kay Javier. It hurt me as her friend. 

I understood why she got mad of me when I did not contribute on our paper, but to get mad at me just because of a guy?