Him

Chapter 1

I crave for him, I long for that feeling to be touched by him again. The way he held me every night and read little short stories to me that we both enjoyed. Now he's gone, left me here...sitting here wondering what I've done wrong. "Why me?", I ask myself that a hundred times a day and I will never receive an answer. Nobody understands the hurt I feel, daily, waking up without talking to him. My family hated him though, he was a bad guy. A bad guy with feelings that I could bring out of him, now someone else can bring them out of him.

"Lex, why haven't you eaten anything today?"

"Why do you think mom? I'm not hungry, can't eat if I'm not hungry."

"If you keep on overthinking about that darn boy, things will never get better for you."

What does she know about him? She knows nothing. How can she judge somebody she never knew. Our connection was so surreal.

"Whatever. Can you get out now?"

"I will not tolerate this disrespect. Tomorrow you will be going to school, no more exceptions Lex!"

I can't go back, everyone will know. They'll start asking questions. Look at me with those judgy faces. I know what they all will be thinking. I can't go back, not yet...

I leave voicemails still, to see if he would ever pick up and call me back. He never gave me a reason why he left, he just did. No hesitations. I need answers. I haven't left a voicemail today, but I want to, but I have no urge in my body. I feel numb today, just how I like it. It's almost midnight, I should go to sleep, but I can't stop thinking of him. Oh Lucas what have you done to me.

"Alexia Marina Martinez! Get up now, you're late!"

Crap, I'm late on my first day back? What a good way to start.

"Want to make a stop for food on the way? Coffee maybe?"

"I'm good."

"Are you ever going to eat something?"

I didn't respond after that. I didn't have anything to say. The silence was the only answer I could provide. I was still a little numb, I barely wanted to say one word.

"Can we just go? I'm already late."

"Fine."

I can tell how irritated my mom was by my actions, I felt bad. I felt the urge to just hug her tightly and never let go but my pride was too big. We eventually pulled up to the school after the silenced ride, I couldn't get the urge to get out of the car.

"Go ahead Missy, the school is waiting on ya." My mom tries to always pull a country accent out on me to make me feel better. It really did, but of course, I couldn't let her know that. I got out of the car and stood on the beige pavement, nervously looking around. I haven't been to school in weeks, nothing changed about the place, but I still felt awkward. I blew a kiss at my mom as she pulled off and I made my way towards the two big front doors.

"Miss Martinez, nice to have you back. We missed you", the front desk lady squealed.

By the time I got inside, everyone was in class. The hallways were so naked and the smell of fresh paint filled my nose. I wasn't glad to be back, I wanted to just hide in the bathroom until school is over. I pushed myself to walk into my first period.

"Oh, look everyone, Alexia is finally back", my history teacher said with humor.

The class was dead silent. No chatter. No jokes. Not even a sound of a pencil hitting the tiled floors. I hesitantly walked over to my seat that was waiting on me in the front row. I wish it were in the back, where all the quiet kids were. I sat in my seat with my face tilted down, I didn't move, not one bit until the bell rung for us to leave.

"Miss Martinez, can I have a word with you before you leave?" Ugh, why?

"Sir?"

"Where have you been these past few weeks? And why didn't you participate in class today?"

"Frankly, sir, that's none of your business."

He gave me a concerned stare as I headed straight out of the door. I should've stayed in the class a bit longer, as I left out, it felt as though everyone had their eyes glued on me. I tried to ignore it as I held my head down low, pretending to play with my hoodie strings. 

Then, I felt a body encounter me. The body felt familiar. I slowly looked up and, I sensed my eyes starting to water. It was Lucas. My body started to feel weak as I scurried to the bathroom. I wanted to go home, I couldn't bear to see him anymore. 

Without thinking, I dashed out of the big front two doors and just ran...I ran so far I didn't even know where I was going. I wanted to get far from that school, anywhere is better than there. As I ran, all I could see were the vivid images of his body against mine. However, I didn't get a good glimpse of his face. Before I could see his pretty face, my embarrassment ran me out of his sight. 

The voice in my head encouraged me to keep on running, so I did. No hesitation, just body movement.