Insomnia

Hi, my name is... Irrelevant! and I can't sleep! I have insomnia, to be honest I'm not quite sure! Most people have insomnia from time to time and I used to get it as well! I used to lie in my bed and do nothing. I would think of every movie I have seen and every book I have read and imagine myself in the place of the main character, what would I have done If I was in their place! I would make up fake arguments with people I know, of course, I'd win every time!

Every so often I'd just fall a sleep and wake up the next morning like nothing even happened, but sometimes I'd stay awake till the next morning or even the day after that! And one of those times was the cause of what happened next that made a simple task of going to sleep an impossible task!

Sleeping is very weird to me; you just lie in your bed with your eyes closed and not doing anything until you lose conscious. Now loosing conscious has always been something I have thought I would never experience in my entire life. In one moment, I am awake and conscious and in the next I am not anymore? It always seemed odd to me.

I view sleep as a similar thing! I am lying in my bed with my eyes closed and doing absolutely nothing for a few minutes then boom I wake up the next morning like nothing happened! Don't you think it is similar to losing conscious?

In one of the nights that I couldn't sleep, I stayed lying in my bed trying to sleep, but I just couldn't sleep, no matter what. I knew it was going to be one of those nights that I would stay awake till the morning!
It was around 5 am when I had an idea that affected my life completely and made my insomnia grow bigger than ever! I thought to myself "when does the brain lose conscious and go to sleep? Will it be now? Will it be in 5 minutes? Or will it be in an hour? I don't know!" that idea made my life miserable.

In a way I wanted to be conscious when I lose conscious! I hope that makes sense! It has become very challenging for me to sleep! But I still sleep when I am extremely tired and in need of sleep, because that is how the brain works. The brain forces you to sleep when you are exhausted!
Now whenever I go to sleep that idea just flout in my head! I cannot get rid of it! I hope this idea doesn't affect any of you! I hope I stay the only one that is affected by this! Because it can be painful sometimes, it is right that I said the brain forces you to sleep when you are extremely tired, but sometimes it doesn't force you to sleep that quick. I sometimes suffer in need of some sleep; my body would be drained but yet my brain isn't able to send me to sleep!

It is great when you go to sleep after getting tired, but what if you couldn't sleep after being tired? Yes, I have been through that, and it feels like hell! On the odd occasion I try to sleep, and I only sleep for 5 minutes or maximum 30 minutes and then wake up not being able to go back to sleep till the morning!

The problem is that idea I had once! I absolutely wish I never thought of that! But I did. I am still working on fixing it! I will update this if I ever find a solution!

Thank you for reading! Wish you all the best!