Goodbye my beloved

I know it's getting bad again when the world starts to  melt into a soggy I cream sandwich sitting outside of dollar tree

When my feet sink into the ground as it swallowed me whole

Enjoying late nights pretending like nothing exists but stars swimming in the sky

I miss you,
I miss you telling me how pathetic I am
I miss you telling me that because you went through worse
my feelings are fake, and just jealous of how you suffered

How could I survive without you my dear?

How could I let you know

I'm more worried about you my love

My feet continue sinking into the ground like it's quick sand
more concerned about your well being then getting air back into my lungs

When I finally ask for help you forced me to show you my scars

So I ask you my darling
If I drown in my sand will you be there to dig me out or will you leave me to drown?

Red marks and white cuts work better then pills
Because the pills never took anything away they just add on to my pain

You come to me crying saying you had a bad day
I listen to your issues and your Decay

I will always be here for you on those days my darling
For my door will never close
But if it ever did I know you would just pry it open

Sometimes I forget that I can talk when you talk over me

My words just seem to fade in my throat and come out as gray smoke

When my blade is the only one that listens
my cuts is just me using my voice to communicate

When was the last time you checked to see if I'm ok my beloved?

That's ok

I'll be ok if no one sees the salty stream down my face

"Why am I like this?"

"Your just being over dramatic"

How was your day beautiful?

How are you feeling my beloved?

How are you supposed to answer the voice telling you it's not worth it to survive anymore
"Just end it"

"How could they miss you"

My cuts saved my life
Why should I stop now

Covering it up is just a small price to pay

I finally tell you
I can't believe I trusted you

My world is coming to an end
All you can manage to say cuts through my thighs and my wrists much worse then my blade ever did

When you look back on you lovely,
I wonder if you ever feel remorse in that voice box you cherish so much

I can't believe I miss you
The 300 photos in my camera role I can't delete of you

I can't believe I loved you my darling
I can't believe I still do

Goodbye my beloved

— your truly
Sage