Safe and Sleep

Let me sleep

Though I can't really remember when is the last time I can sleep without any trouble. I didn't really pay attention too much since my trouble at sleeping just came to me out of nowhere. And also my mind was so shit back then because I couldn't sleep at all.

So I didn't really take any note when did it start.....

.....though honestly who would pay special attention to something that you do everyday?

But I guess probably I would if I know I will have trouble at sleeping.

"Hmmmmm...."

I thought maybe recollecting memories is a good thing to do since I didn't really have anything to do. For real, I'm so bored to the point I just wanna melt into a slime.

At some point, I remembered that while in Middle School, I didn't have much trouble at sleeping at all.

Can't remember the detail but whatever.

Looking back, the past seems beautiful.

Is this what people call childhood is a precious treasure?

Maybe when I was a kid, things are really indeed beautiful and fun. But then again, not all flowers and joy. There were also some bad moments. And back then I was a naive kid.

A very naive kid, that I want myself to disappear.

Especially that time.

Yeah, especially that time........

"Ugh." I just remembered something distasteful.

Why did I have to remember about that time? I seriously want to forget what happened back then, or in bigger scale, I want to redo it. So that what happened at that time will never happen.

"Aaaaahhhh!" I groaned with a low voice.

Why now I am thinking about something I don't want? This is only making things worse. My mood has crumpled down now.

I instinctively groaned in my heart. My mood is all over the place now. Remembering that thing just makes my desire to sleep even stronger.

For the love of god, just let me sleep!

-----

Ok, let's calm down.

I took a deep breath and trying to compose myself. My violent side is showing and I don't want that.

Also this is still late in night. I don't want to cause a fuss that would invite my mom to kill me.

So let's just stop with reminiscing the past. Let's find something to distract so I can forget this rotten memory.

I decided to just find something in my laptop and my handphone. Let's hope this will get me to sleep.

-----

I looked at my laptop's clock, 5:08 AM. I was playing games and watching youtubes. And I still didn't sleep. I sighed, so glad that this is Sunday. Meaning there's nothing from school that I have to deal with. And mom wouldn't have to give me some stupid speech about 'you need to sleep' or whatever.

So I guess I can just focus on doing things I like.

When it comes to this, I just gave up at trying to sleep and focus on doing things I like. And probably somewhere in the middle I will fall asleep.......

.......hopefully.

So in the end, I keep playing Starcrush. It's a MMORPG game that suprisingly really famous. A lot of people have played it and had fun. It rivals even that famous gacha game.