Try To Call You Every Day (I'm Rehearsing What To Say) \\ON HIATUS\\

chp 1

He shivered. Children. The word alone was enough to strike a mix of disappointment and disgust in him.

In all honesty, Fyodor could somewhat respect Dazai for having to put up with sticky kids and bitchy Karens. And to have that for a job? To deal with it every day? It might have been more than a little respect. (Fyodor then realizes he does the exact same thing.)

They had spoken before. Fyodor liked to think he had at least one acquaintance in this godforsaken mall.

He sighed. Some teenagers milled around the store, picking up games and showing their friends, or laughing at things that Fyodor thought too useless to try and eavesdrop on.

Teenagers are worse than kids for many reasons:

1. They're really mean, like, what the hell.

2. They insult you, and goddammit its accurate.

3. They come to the nasty Game Stop just to make fun of you for working there. They always buy something, so Fyodor wonders if it ever occurred to them that, being the only employee, he was the only one keeping this fucker from closing. He should just go ahead and quit honestly.

The only reason he hasn't quit yet. . . well. . .

He glanced across the hallway to the makeup shop. He put his chin in his hand and leaned on the counter. He sighed again.

There he was. Talking and laughing with that red haired woman who worked with him. His braid was always perfect, his makeup flawless, his multicolored eyes shining in darkness, he was—

"Gorgeous." Fyodor whispered.

"That's so pathetic. Just talk to him."

Fyodor rolled his eyes at the regular customer. God, this kid is annoying. "Now, Mitsuoki, when you grow up and fall in love with someone, you will suddenly lose any scrap of confidence you ever possessed."

Mitsuoki fake gagged and responded with, "Do you even know his name, commie?"

"First of all, I'm a legal citizen of Japan. I moved here when I was thirteen. I'm no longer a communist. Second, of course I do. It's. . ." Fyodor trailed off.

"See?" Mitsuoki smirked. "You don't know his name."

"Ugh, that's not the point. The point is, he's obviously straight and beautiful and not single. I stand no chance, young boy."

Mitsuoki stared at Fyodor, dumbstruck. "He works at a fricken beauty store. He's as gay as that barista from the coffee shop! Also, have you ever seen someone stop by just for him? Don't think so. I'm here like, every day and I've yet to see anything. Just those two older ladies that work with him making out after hours. Just, let me pay for my game."

Fyodor vaguely wondered why a kid would be here after hours and spying on two chicks kissing, but he thought it better to not ask and looked down at the game Mitsuoki slid across the counter. He sighed. And sighed again for good measure.

"Fine. Have fun with Call of Duty. I'll be here, decidedly not talking to anyone."

¤¤

"Ugh! Fuck you, Dazai!"

"Oh~ at least take me out for dinner first!"

"I loathe you!"

"The feeling's mutual, chibikko!"

Chuuya grit his teeth, fully prepared to march over to that stupid ass skating rink and destroy Dazai. He took a step forward and balled his fists.

Then he remembered that he took anger management classes because of this fucker, and therefore would not give him the satisfaction.

He let out a breath and spun around on his heel, walking back to the ice rink. (Which happened to be located right  across from the skating rink. A mistake on the architect's part, really. They probably thought its was convenient or some shit. Little did they know how much conflict their mistake caused.)

"I'm gonna kill that stupid Dazai. This time I mean it, Atsu."

"You say that every day, Chuuya, and there he is, still alive and kickin."

Chuuya groaned. "Yeah yeah, I know. It's only because the fucker wants to die. If he believed life was the best thing to ever happen to him, I'd rip it away without hesitation."

"Well then." Atsushi was leaning against the wall around the ice rink, watching Kyoka skate. "A little dark there, ey, chibikko?"

Chuuya turned his glare from across the hall to Atsushi. "That feels so wrong coming from you so shut up, ew."

Atsushi laughed and nudged Chuuya's shoulder. "Don't act like you don't like him."

"What?! Gross, no way!"

"They all know it. They see all, they hear all."

Chuuya looked quizzically at him. "Who's they, because I might have to revoke their omniscient privileges."

"Oh, ya know." Atsushi smirked. "People."

¤

"Okay, Ranpo. Explain this to me again. Slower," Yukichi was already tired from a long day of work, and with Ranpo's unemployment now on his shoulders (like every other one of Ranpo's problems), Yukichi really just wanted to take a long nap. Lasting about 30 years, preferably.

Ranpo sighed. "Whatever. So again, the officers at the police department were being mean to me because they think a kid isn't as smart as them. Underestimating might be part of the job, but really? I've proven it to them also, but the nonbelievers are still skeptical. "

They were currently sitting in a cafe (that Yukichi knows Ranpo frequents because of the barista), talking about Ranpo's 'newfound freedom', as he called it.

Ranpo suddenly dropped the entire subject and whispered, "That's hiiimmmmm!" He pressed his finger to Yukichi's mouth, silencing him.

A shy looking boy walked nervously over to their table.

"Um, excuse me sirs, but, why is there a man on handcuffs in the booth right next to you? I-I get you're an officer of the law, but I fear my customers might be uncomfortable."

Ranpo sighed dreamily. "That's the most I've ever heard you speak. I think your voice is lovely~"

The barista (who's name was Edgar, which Yukichi found out from Ranpo), was to say the least, surprised.

"Huh?!"

"Don't worry about that man, Ed. Fukuzawa here will take care of him." Ranpo smiled.

"E-Ed?! I don't even know you!"

"You will," Ranpo winked.

"Wha-What does that mean?!"

In case it wasn't clear, here are all the character's jobs.

Fyodor: Game Stop lol.
Dazai: Skating Rink.
Chuuya: Ice Skating Rink. Him and Dazai are rival skating groups how fun haha.
Akutagawa and Gin: Hot Topic.
Atsushi doesnt work at the mall but him and Chuuya are bros so he hangs out there a lot.
Nikolai Yosano and Kouyou work at the beauty shop.
Poe works at the (gay) cafe.
Ranpo just hangs out there tbh. So does Mori.
Fukuzawa is a security guard.
Francis owns the mall.
Kenji works at a flower shop and gives everyone confidence before they confess to their crush lol.