STATIC → newt , tmr [EDITING ; VERY SLOW UPDATES]

chapter ix

"You better be," Vince said coldly, glaring at Tiago. Their shoulders brushed as Vince left the tent.

Tiago was left alone with his mother, and he couldn't say the thought excited him. On instinct, Tiago glanced over his shoulder, hoping to see someone. He wasn't sure who; Brenda, Jorge, Newt. Anyone. He just needed reassurance.

"That boy, the one who ran after you," Belle said gently. Tiago's gaze fixated on her, his eyes narrowing slightly. "He cares for you, doesn't he?"

Tiago said nothing. He didn't see the point in discussing Newt. He didn't want to talk about Newt. He wanted to talk about them.

Belle frowned at his silence. "You're upset to see me?"

"I can't say I'm thrilled," Tiago said honestly. "I thought you were dead. Why ..." He trailed off. He saw his mother give a small smile, and he tilted his head in curiosity. "Why are you smiling?"

She shook her head quickly. "Nothing, I just―Your accent. I knew your American accent wasn't perfect, but it seems speaking to me has brought the Italian back." Tiago frowned. He had hardly noticed. "Why are you upset to see me?"

There were a few moments of silence. Tiago could think of a hundred reasons as to why he was upset to see her. She left him with his father and younger sister. The memories he had after her disappearance haunted him to this day, and she was alive the entire time.

"Why did you leave us?" Tiago finally asked, his voice small, eyes on the floor. Belle opened her mouth, but Tiago continued before she could speak. "Why didn't you come back? You left us with ... with him, and Marzia―" He cut himself off, his throat growing tight. He finally looked back at his mother, eyes hard, tears shining in them. "You didn't even say goodbye. And you never came back. Why?"

"It is so much harder to leave an abuser than it seems―"

"You had no problems leaving your own children with him!" Tiago cried out, finally losing his temper. "You left us with him, knowing that he would hurt us! Do you have any idea what he did to me? To Marzia?"

Belle broke away from her son's gaze, his eyes conveying more emotion than she'd seen from the boy in her life.

"I don't," she admitted, her voice barely audible. She had switched to Italian. Tiago's brain raced to keep up with her words as she spoke. "I don't have any idea, you're right. But I did go back, Santiago. I still do. I go back every single year, on the off chance that either of my children survived. And you did."

Tiago shook his head, the tears finally spilling from his eyes. "You were too late," he said coldly. He hoped his Italian was still recognizable to her. He hadn't spoken much of the language in six years; it had all but flowed out of him. "You didn't come back fast enough." He paused, clenching his eyes shut and trying to gather his thoughts. It didn't work well. "You said earlier that I looked just like him. My father. You know who didn't? Marzia. She looked like you. Do you know what he did to her for that? He beat her. Just because she looked like you." Belle's own tears formed as she listened to her son's pained voice. "He beat her, every day and every night. He hit me if I ever got involved. I tried ... so hard, for so long, but I was exhausted." He paused to lick his lips. "She was only eight when he finally killed her. Right in front of me. I remember it so clearly. She was screaming ... calling my name ... my eyes were closed ... and then it stopped."

"Stop," Belle said softly, her head hanging low.

"Her eyes were still open. I closed them when he left. And then I―" His throat seized up, closing tightly. He swallowed before continuing. "I-I found a gun, some sort of pistol ... and I hid in his room, waited for him to come home ... and I―"

"I said stop it!" Belle screamed, launching up from the cot. Tiago flinched, her loud voice unsettling him slightly. "Do you have any idea what I've put myself through thinking about the three of you?! The pain, the guilt that tortured me everywhere I went for years! I think about you and Marzia every single day, and I will keep thinking about you and Marzia every single day, for the rest of my life!"

"Marzia's gone!" Tiago yelled, his own voice thundering over hers. "You are the reason she's dead! You left, you left both of us behind, you are the reason he killed her! I understand you wanted to get out of an abusive marriage, but how dare you subject your own children to the rage you knew he was capable of! Marzia is dead because of you!" He paused to take a few needed deep breaths. His voice lowered. "And I will never forgive you for that. Ever."

It was silent again, aside from Tiago's harsh breathing. He could feel his hands shaking, the anxiety in him rising to unmatchable levels. He wanted to see Brenda. He knew she could make him feel better. The silence was harsh to Tiago's ears after all the shouting and screaming. It was unbearable.

"I've dealt with my guilt," Belle finally said, her voice calm but her eyes sharp. "I blamed myself for so long. I don't deserve that."

Tiago scoffed. "Don't deserve it, or don't want it? Because I can assure you that you deserve all the blame you get."

"I'm not going to listen to you demean me," Belle said, her voice hard. She was a completely different woman from the one Tiago had first spoken with in this tent. "I've made mistakes, and I've dealt with them in my own way. If you don't forgive me, that's fine. But I don't have to listen to you blame me for the rest of my life."

She walked toward him, eyes fixed on him, then moved past him and out of the tent. Tiago's eyes were still filled with tears. He blinked them out when she was gone, felt them drip down his face. He took ragged breaths through his mouth. He could feel his entire body shaking, but he couldn't tell whether it was from anger or anxiety. Tiago clenched his jaw tightly.

I will never forgive you.

― ➶ ―

this was a bit of a yikes chapter, but i definitely enjoyed writing it. i hope i didn't trigger anyone with what i wrote :( i also apologize if this is messy. i wrote it over several days and my thoughts were all over the place while writing lol. once again, it's not proofread, so sorry for any mistakes.

i hope you enjoyed!! this one was quite deep, but we learned some of tiago's past, which i think was very necessary for the beginning of newt and tiago's relationship. also yay they kissed!! we love having 2 completely opposite topics in a single chapter!

don't forget to vote and comment :) thanks for reading !