HAIKYUU INCORRECT QUOTES

chapter 1

[texting]

Tendō: asfshjasgdha

Ushijima: What was that?

Tendō: It's a keyboard smash.

Ushijima: How do I do it?

Tendō: Just press anything.

Ushijima: 9

-

[texting]

Bokuto: Theres an oul outside

Bokuto: ool

Bokuto: ouwl

Bokuto: houl

Bokuto: how the heck do you spell it

Bokuto: a hoot hoot

Bokuto: There's a hoot hoot outside my windoe

Kuroo: Owl! Dude! You even look like one

-

Daichi: Can I be frank with you guys?

Kageyama: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.

Hinata: Can I still be Hinata?

Yamaguchi: Shh, let Frank speak.

-

Sugawara: Why is helping someone hide a body the standard for true friendship?

Sugawara: Look, if you're in trouble, I'll lie to the cops for you. I'll dispose of evidence. Whatever.

Sugawara: But please I am begging you, do not make me dig a hole. That sounds so hard.

-

Hinata: I used to think that melancholy was a vegetable.

Kenma: That's incredible, lets hang out more.

-

Hinata: What does "take out" mean?

Noya: Food.

Sugawara: Dating.

Tsukishima: Murder.

Kuroo: It can mean all three if you're not a coward.

-

Bokuto: The eagles won last night.

Kuroo: Oh you watched Shiratorizawa's game?

Bokuto [covered in blood and scratches]: what game?

-

[Hinata and Kageyama, in their bedroom]

Hinata: YOU PUT IT IN THE WRONG HOLE YOU IDIOT-

Sugawara, kicking door open with a frying pan: now what in the FUCK did I just hear

Kageyama: not much I just plugged the laptop charger into the headphone jack

-

Hinata: What's your type?

Kageyama: Short, ginger, last name Hinata.

Hinata:

Hinata: You have a crush on my sister???????

Kageyama:

-

[at disneyland on the teacup ride]

kenma and akaashi: [spinning calmly while talking]

bokuto and kuroo: [flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming]

-

suna: so how's the food?

akaashi: it's great, send compliments to the chef

suna: okay[in the kitchen]

suna: you have beautiful eyes

osamu: ...alright

-

Kuroo: I'm not getting into anymore stupid debates with you.

Bokuto: Water is not wet

Kuroo: bITCH how the fuck is water not wet it's water-

-

Kageyama: How do I make a date really romantic?

Tanaka: Try being mysterious.

Kageyama: Got it.[Later, on a date w/ Hinata]

Hinata: So, where are we going?

Kageyama: None of your fucking business.

-

kuroo: they call me coffee 'cause i grind so fine.

akaashi: oh my god.

bokuto: they call me coffee because i keep you up past 2am.

akaashi: bokuto-san stop.

kenma: they call me coffee because i'm really bitter and people don't like me without changing some aspect of who i am.

akaashi: oh.

-

Sugawara: You fainted. Do you remember anything?

Daichi: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Sugawara: That wasn't an ambulance. I drove you.

Daichi: But I heard a siren.

Sugawara: That was Asahi.

Asahi: I'm sorry, I got nervous